Godly Hoping OR Standing on Faith

Last Saturday, we drove an hour north up to the Black Sea to spend a day at the beach.  Besides a little over exposure to the sun, (I am SOOO white...well, now red!) it was a wonderful day.  On the drive up, we passed several rode-side-stands selling towels, mats and various beach items.  We decided to stop and buy the kids some blow-up tubes.  I am so glad we did - it was the hit of the day!!  The kids thoroughly enjoyed floating along without a care in the world.  Oh, to be a kid again...carefree!  I, on the other hand, spent a good deal of the day walking along the beach making sure that the current was simply taking them down the shoreline and not out to the deep, a shark was not stalking them, their tubes didn't pop, etc., etc.  You see I had "cares"!  However, as I watched the kids laughing, giggling, splashing and playing, I was struck with how important faith is.  How I need to surrender my "cares" into His most capable hands.  William and Grace had complete faith in their situation.  Did they fully understand the dangers of the undertow or other such things - no!  Did they need to - no!  It is enough that their father said, "Go and do this thing."  I so desire to float along in faith just like that.  Sadly, I often spend way too much time checking the tide and asking multiple times if my Father really does want me to "go and do this thing".  I feel myself acting like the  Disney elephant character, Tantor, from the 1999 Tarzan movie =  "Are you sure this water's sanitary? It looks questionable to me!"   I so wish I would instead stand boldly like David when hearing of the giant Goliath taunting the army of God. =  “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Sam. 17:37)  I know that I can only stand on faith when I have hidden the Word of God in my heart and have faith in my relationship with Him.  That means fully surrendering control to HIM.  It will be at that time that I can boldly say, "for the battle is the Lord’s"! (1 Sam. 17:47)  David was still just a shepard boy, but how had he spent his time in the fields?  He spent it worshiping and drawing near to the Father.  It was because of this relationship that he had faith that God's will for his life was enough.  Live or Die - let God decide.  It always gets my blood pumping when I read, "David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine." (1 Sam. 17:48)  David didn't wait and check the sky for the right conditions; check the grass for obstacles; ask God for a set course of action, etc. David took what he had and knew how to use and charged forward!  I love how the Living Bible records the next two verses:  Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong!  Be courageous!  Do not be afraid of them!  For the Lord your God will be with you.  He will neither fail you nor forsake you."  John 14:27, "I am leaving you with a gift -  peace of mind and heart!  And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives.  So don't be troubled or afraid."  We CAN "float along carefree"!!  Why? Because:  He will keep His promises; He is in control; and HE loves us more than we can ever imagine! Floating Away Today - AT

Whatever it takes to see people come to HIM!

The above cartoon was posted on Facebook by a national friend of mine.  She is a follower of Christ, but continues to wear a head cover in most situations. Isn't it amazing how different we all view issues such as modesty, respect and oppression?  If I had to guess, most of us reviewing this "comic" would put ourselves somewhere in the middle.  I know it might be easy for us to "camp out" on the "male-dominated culture" part of the statement, and I do have my opinions on a woman's place in the world and home, but I'll save that for another post.  The question that keeps playing in my mind right now is:  "What should my dress look like in order to be a witness in the culture in which I live?"  Obviously, I do not want to compromise my own beliefs and convictions (whether that be to dress extremely modest or to walk in "freedom"), but let's look at what 1 Corinthians 9:22 says, "To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some."  So, how do I reconcile how I prefer to dress while ministering in a culture that requires a different style.  Life is ministry remember - we are all bond-servants! Women working with youth might dress very differently than women working in a women's ministry.  I believe this concept looks very different around the globe.  I have several friends living in the Middle East & all over Central Asia, and they fully cover like the woman on the right.  It is very difficult for American women living abroad to not be viewed in a negative light.  The lack of morals and ungodly behavior that people see in "American TV and films" is what locals believe is acceptable to all Americans.  This makes ministry very difficult.  An American woman is viewed as guilty of immorality until she proves herself to be pure.  I realize that in America today "covering" is most associated with Islamic beliefs, but the reality is that it has only been in the last 50-70 years that American women did not cover when going outside their home.  Yes, it looked a little different in history over the years, but "propriety and modesty" were the driving factors in being covered.  On the other side, I also have several friends working in the jungles of Africa and South America.  If they were to dress like the woman on the right, they would likely scare the natives away!!  They might think a "spirit" had come to live among them!!  Funny, but still true given native beliefs and cultures.  My friends in these cultures have to dress comfortable and more "informal".  Later in Corinthians, Paul writes "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; [in other words, adapt as much as you can in non-sinful ways] just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of the many, that they may be saved. [That's the same as 9:22.] Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ."  I think the key words here for us to take away are "all to the glory of God".  May everything we do, even down to how we dress, be for HIS glory and use, and may we seek to understand why a woman chooses to dress in a certain manner before we judge.  AT              

Blessed Assurance

Assurance - What is it, and what does it look like?  On my online dictionary, the first definition of assurance is "a statement or indication that inspires confidence; a guarantee or pledge".  How many times has a statement inspired, but later didn't really hold up.  "This product is so amazing everyone can find a use for it.  It will sell itself".  If that had been a sure thing, there wouldn't be 50  of them still in the back of the closet.  I guarantee you that if you will take this new diet product you will loose weight.  Eat what you want + No exercise = additional pounds GAINED and $100s gone.  I pledge to you until "death do us part".  The divorce rate among Christians is the same as non-Christians.  Okay, so the first definition doesn't really hold up.  Let's look at the second definition. "freedom from doubt; self-confidence."  What can I be totally confident in my self for?  I'm wise with money, but I make mistakes.  I was a good driver...never been given a ticket, but I haven't driven in over 3 years!  I love me kids, but maybe they don't receive all I do as love.  Am I a good wife, friend, sister, daughter?  Maybe, but am I good enough?  I doubt it; there will always be something I could do to be better.  Therefore, this definition leaves something lacking as well!  SO, what can I have assurance in?  Most of the time I can rest assured that if I put my clothes in the washer they will come out clean...that is if I have water and if the electricity stays on.  If I take the 11üs bus, I will arrive at Matt's office...that is if one will come by my bus stop. If I want to call my mom, I know I can simply use MajicJack....that is if the Internet is working.  Yes, I think you know where I am going with this now.  The examples can go on and on.  I cannot think of any earthly thing on which to place my assurance.  I am so thankful that the Bible says, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul." Psalm 94:19  God is always there; He keeps His promises even when we don't; If we have a relationship with His son, we can be saved!  These are things that we can have assurance in.  Last month, I went over to my Turkish mom's house for Mother's Day.  She had her sister visiting.  "D" is over 80 and very ill.  She has had 3 strokes; she has diabetes; she has had a stint put in her heart....and the list goes on.  "D" is staying with my "mom" so that she can get therapy in-order to regain the use of her right side.  She is making great progress, but realizes that "it could just happen again."  She has no assurance in having good health again.  She told me that she was happy to have the strength to do "namaz".  (Islamic prayers - you have to kneel a special way.)  She admittedly has no assurance; however, that what she does with her life will be "enough" to guarantee eternity in paradise.  As best I could, with respect and love, I shared about my assurance and how happy I was that life in paradise did not depend on me.  She was so glad for me.  She even said that I was such a "good lady, wife and mom that she knew what I said was right.  She wished it could be so for her."  Again, I tried to tell her that Christ desires a relationship with all peoples.  Sadly, she just smiled and said, "İnşallah" (If God wills it to be so.)  That evening, watching her sleep on the couch in the living room was almost more than I could bare.  Many times I had to choke back tears before talking to the others in the room.  I wanted to say more....I needed to say more.  I so desperately wanted to give this precious women some assurance, but I could not.  Assurance only comes through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  

Romans 10:9-10, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
John 3:15-16, "That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Romans 4:5, "But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness."
John 10:28, "And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand."
Ephesians 2:8-10, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."
1 John 5:13, "These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. "    And, of course, these are not the only verses in scripture that give us hope and assurance.  God's promises go on and on.  I pray that I am given another opportunity to share with "D".  Even more than me, I know God desperately wants to give her rest and assurance in a relationship with Himself.  Please join me in prayer, that her eyes will be open and her heart receptive to His truth.  Also, if there is anyone reading this blog that has questions or is unsure how to have assurance in Christ, you are welcome to contact me.  His love and assurance is for all.  AT

Not Counting Just Trusting

Why would God put the"Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil" in the Garden of Eden if He didn't want man to eat from it?   I am sure many people have asked that question right along with me. From the beginning, God allowed man to have the will to choose.  I believe the tree was there for many reasons - one of them being to teach man to trust.  I believe this is a lesson that from the onset of our relationship with the Father, He desires to work in our hearts.  He wants to stretch and grow us in our ability and will to put our whole faith in Him.  In 2003, I was undertaking a seven year Bible program.  That year, we were studying Israel and the Minor Prophets.  At that same time, Grace was an infant, and I was diligently trying to keep up a milk supply for nursing.  I had extreme hormone issues, and this was proving to be a very difficult task.  I used a pump to provide extra stimulation for milk production 3 to 5 times a day.  Grace was thriving, but I was becoming very discouraged.  I would often go to our deep freeze and count how many bags of milk were there. (great bi-product of pumping!)  I would then add up how many days I could give Grace breast milk before having to switch her to something else.  In the midst of this ritualistic exhaustion, one week in class, we studied about the time that David was instructed to NOT take a census in Israel.  He was to simply trust that the Father would provide the manpower he needed to be a successful ruler.  Despite God's instructions, 1 Chronicles 21:1 records  "Then Satan stood up against Israel and moved David to number Israel."  Why did David fall to temptation in this?  Why was he not obedient to the Lord's will?  I believe it was a trust issue.  David was in charge - or so he thought - he felt he needed to be prepared for what was ahead.  The Father began to work in my heart, and in a dream revealed to me that I was acting just as David had.  I believed I was the "ruler" or in control of my milk production.  I was allowing Satan to destroy my special time as a mom; make me weary from doubt; and allow me to believe that I was Grace's provider.  God stictly forbade me from counting milk from that day forward.  I was to put the bags in the freezer and forget them.  I had no idea what a challenge that was going to be.  At that time, Grace was 4 months old.  Two months later I found out I was expecting again.  My hormones were raging and I wanted to count how much milk I had so I could stop nursing Grace and rest.  Again in a dream, I was told to keep pushing forward and to trust.  Two months later I lost that child.  I was so hurt.  I know that sounds crazy, but if you knew Matt and my whole story you would understand how desperately we wanted children.  Even with two in our arms the loss of yet another child was devastating.  I was also hormonally all over the page.  However, God gave me two instructions: continue and trust.   Two months later when Grace was 10 months old, I totally dried-up on one side.  Again, the temptation to count what was in the freezer was so overwhelming....BUT I had come so far!  The one year marker that the Father had promised me was in sight.  For the next two months, we continued with only one side producing milk.  The day of Grace's first birthday I was emotionally all over the place - again, it could just have been hormones!  ; )  I was sad to think that this time was ending.  I knew (although not yet fully) that Grace was to be my last biological child.  I was grateful, amazed and overwhelmed to see all that the Father had brought us through.  I was also extremely curious as to how much milk was in that freezer!  I guess just like Adam and Eve I wondered what could really happen from just one count.  Just like David, I thought that I had won so many battles.  Was I not in control yet?  Without asking God, I counted and I added up how many weeks/months Grace was going to continue to be able to have good breast milk.  (Pride goes before a fall!!!!)  I weaned Grace over the next few weeks and began to give her breast milk in a cup.  She totally rejected it!  Then I began to notice that after I made her drink it, her diapers were foul and she had terrible indigestion.  OH GREAT!  What was I to do with a freezer full of milk?  I knew it was from my own foolishness.  I asked for forgiveness, which of course was given, but there are always consequences to sin.  The milk was not "mine" any more.  What was I to do with it?  I began praying.  A few days later, I was talking with a friend of mine on the phone.  She was having extremely painful back issues and needed to take special medication.  By taking this medicine she was unable to nurse her infant.  She was pumping in order to keep a supply, but was having to pour her milk down the sink. (HOW AWFUL!)  Immediately, I knew what I was to do - Give her the milk.  I was so grateful that the Father allowed me to do this.  (I could have just had to put it in the trash!)  HE knows our sins and our weaknesses and yet He chooses to use and bless us anyway!  SO, you might be asking: Why is Amy writing about something from so many years ago?  Well, I have been caught counting again!  Not breast milk this time...but days.  With our current visa situation still up in the air and July being our 3 year anniversary overseas, I have been playing the "what if" game and counting days and months.  IF this happens, we can do THIS.  IF that happens, we could do THAT.  What I have really been doing is NOT trusting!  God still has a perfect plan!!  He knows how many days we have left in Turkey.  What Satan wants is to steal my joy, take away my ability to minister and rob me from the privilege of serving.  I know God desires that I have faith that HIS ways are perfect.  All things will work together in HIS time and for HIS glory.  I am not to count!  Please pray for me as I walk this journey again.  May it be one this time that pleases HIM.  AT                 

Life is wonderfully knitted together

Shortly after moving to Turkey, a local family adopted us.  I have written about them many times over the years.  We love them dearly.  One of the things that my local "grandma" was determined to teach me was handiwork. She wanted to begin with crochet.  I am not sure how many hours we sat side-by-side with her giving instructions and me helplessly fouling it up, but eventually she got "fed-up".  She took the hook from my hand, threw it on the table and said that I would not learn.  I am sure that my eyes were as big as saucers.  I know they were ready to spill over with tears.  I was already struggling with language, culture, food and relationships...was I to fail at this, too!!  She must have seen my shock and forthcoming tears because she quickly smiled and grabbed up the knitting needles.  Believe me I took them with trembling hands and lots of prayer!  "Please God, HELP!!  I need to learn this.  I need to succeed at something!!"  After several more hours of instruction...and I believe many huffs and eye rolling...I was slowly knitting.  (and I mean sllllloooooowwwwwlllly)  When I left her house that evening, I was determined to go home and continue working.  Over the next few days, I made something that could resemble a pot holder.  It had many holes from missed stitches, but I did it!!  Success!!!  After that, I moved on to scarves, hats, socks, ponchos and I am working on my first sweater.  I have never been "crafty"; that's my mom's department; but this is fun...even therapeutic.  It has been nice to be able to have something in my hands while I listen to children read and while I am helping with lessons or watching TV.  I have always had a hard time with these particular activities because I hate being still.  However, I think the thing that I love the best about this craft is the time I am able to spend in prayer.  I have several family members and friends in the States that I decided to pray for as I do certain tasks.  As I do normal tasks throughout the day, I have set certain activities as prompts to pray for particular individuals.  I decided to do that with knitting as well.  I have a friend that I pray for every time I knit.  I also pray for the person for whom I am knitting.  In previous posts, I have been writing about how the Father is teaching me to worship and praise Him.  I am amazed at how He so desires to work in our lives through everything that we are doing.  Recently in my knitting, I have been having beautiful (yet sometimes difficult...but clear) visions and sweet words from the Father.  He truly has a perfect plan for our lives.  He has knitted each piece of our lives into perfect order.  Will we be simple pot holders or complicated sweaters?  Will the colors change once, twice, over and over or perhaps never?  Will we see missed stitches when really it was the beginning of a beautiful flower pattern?  We may not know what the end will create, but it will be wonderfully made and precious in His sight.  We simply need to walk with hands and hearts that are stretchable, changeable and moldable for His glory.  AT    

Another School Year Down....

Really, where does the time go?  It is hard to believe that yet another year has passed.  Despite an emotional fall; a middle of the year move; seeing their father put in jail and subsequently deported; and living under the pressure of yet another possible move (this time to a totally different country), the kids did amazingly well in completing 4th and 3rd grades.  I am amazed at how resilient they are!  I have wanted to fall apart for them on many occasions!!  Of course, we still have subjects that are shaky and need firming up this summer/beginning of next year; but, overall, I am amazed.  God is good!!  I am so thankful to be allowed the privilege of being on this journey.  One day at a time, one step at a time, HE gives us exactly what we need.  I confess, at times I "feel sorry" for the kids when I think of all the things that they are "missing"... and the fact that they are stuck with just one teacher who cannot even begin to give them everything they need!!  However, in those moments I am sweetly reminded of the ONE who supplies all of our needs.  The ONE that makes a way.  The ONE that never calls us to a place that HE does not equip us for the life HE has chosen.  Yes, there are areas that my kids if measured would fall short of the mark, but I am walking with confidence in the things that we are all learning along this road that will run far in compensating for anything "missing".    AT

We would truly appreciate your prayers and words of wisdom in this area. Each year is a new challenge, and we really do try to simple sit at the feet of the Father.  However, we know that many of you have training and are gifted in the areas of teaching, education and home schooling.  Please, as you think of us, pass along ideas, tips and helps.  It will be openly received!

Pilgrim's Progress

The Pilgrim's Progress from This World to That Which Is to Come is a Christian allegory written by John Bunyan and published in February, 1678. It is regarded as one of the most significant works of religious English literature. It has been translated into more than 200 languages, and has never been out of print. (Wikipedia)  For the last 2 years we have been using A Beka homeschool materials for Language Arts.  We have truly enjoyed the traditional style and great literature.  The last reader in the 3rd grade program is a version of Pilgrim's Progress.  Having attended public schools, this classic was not something that I read.  I have heard it referred to in sermons and other discussions, but I had not taken the time to read it for myself.  Truthfully, I often get lost in some of the writings of the classics.  John Branyan is a Christian comedian.  He gives a sketch that is hilarious describing our current lack of understanding as well as proper use of the English language.  The Three Little Pigs. After over 8 years of trying to teach language, I can say that it is possible that I am even more confused today! LOL!!  I am; however, grateful that I am experiencing some of the classics on a simple level along side my kids.  Perhaps in the future, I will try to get my hands on the original version, but for now I would like to recommend to anyone who has not read this classic to perhaps try the "readers version".  One of the great things about this book is the questions at the end of the chapters.  They allowed for great discussions of faith and theology for our family.  I was a little worried each year when I started with my 3rd grader.  I wondered if they would not be able to understand the allegory; however, much to my surprise each child put themselves right in the book.  The gospel came alive before their eyes.  Our kids have been highly exposed to the sharing the gospel, but this was a wonderful picture of watching a person travel down the road of salvation.  This would be a great summer read for kids; however, I would suggest perhaps reading as a family or one-on-one so as to allow for questions and discussions.  We can give our kids a lot of things, but pointing them to the gospel and the road of salvation is a must.  Let's do it over, and over and over again in every form possible!!  AT