16 Years and Counting...

A few years ago in an interview we were asked to rate our marriage on a scale of 1 to 10.  Matt immediately piped up and said, "Oh, we're a 10!".  I must admit I was a little embarrassed.  My first thoughts were that Matt should have been more humble and that our marriage is not perfect.  The interviewer responded with what appeared to be a skeptical "hmmm" and asked Matt to elaborate. The brief yet confident explanation that followed changed the way I looked at Matt and our marriage forever.

"I will never look at my marriage as anything less than a 10.  The moment I do is the instant that the enemy has the opportunity to attack.  We know we are not perfect, but we work each day to be sanctified in Him.  A mentor once told us that our marriage is like a garden.  The fruit, beauty and pleasure that it yields will be a direct result of the time and effort that is spent on and in the garden.  In my mind, Amy is a 10 and our marriage is a 10, and I am committed to this thought process and relationship."

The interviewer sat back and grinned broadly.  His response amazed me.  He said, "In all my years of interviewing couples (hundreds of Christian couples mind you) you are only the second couple that has responded with this answer."  He went on to say that he too believed that his marriage was a 10 and he wouldn't settle for any other thoughts towards his wife or their relationship.  He believed that many issues within marriages today start with flawed thinking and a misunderstanding of unconditional love.

Unconditional is...well - no conditions.  You choose to love someone no matter what.  As a parent I don't say, "I'll love you if; I'll love you until..." 

God says, "I loved you even when you were in sin; I loved you first; and I'll love you always."  Why should our relationship with our spouse be any different?

To say that you are in a 10 relationship is not ignoring issues.  If there are things in your personal life or marriage relationship that are keeping you from believing you are a 10, then you need to work on them.  DO NOT SETTLE by saying, "Well we're a 9 maybe an 8.  We know we have issues."  If you know there are issues, FIX THEM!  NO it is not easy, and YES it is that easy.  Change is a choice. 

Sometimes the only change is accepting someone for who they are (flaws and all) and just beginning to speak positively about them and your marriage.  It is amazing how someone will begin to act when you tell them they are a 10.  Suddenly, they want to be a 10.  When you say your marriage is a 10 you begin doing things that keep it/make it a 10! 

Last week Matt and I were in another interview (non-Christian setting) and the question was posed, "Rate your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10."  We smiled at each other....then I responded, we are a 10!

Happy 16th Anniversary My Love!
Yours Forever           

There are always critics! What do I do?

Recently, we were approached by a fellow brother in Christ and asked if we would pray for him.  He has embarked upon a new work for the Lord and seems to be bombarded with negative criticism.  After spending time in prayer for him, here is what Matt and I agreed we were to share.  Perhaps it will be helpful to you too:
 
What do I do when I am feel attacked by criticism?

Step 1:  When the first person comes to you, consider the source.  Does this person have "the right" to speak into your life, or have you allowed someone that doesn't know you and have your best interest in mind to cross a boundary that you did not have well established?  If they have freedom in your life, begin to pray about what was said.  If they do not, let it go.  Do not let it take root in your heart.  Pray for the person and set better boundaries in your life!

Step 2:  When a 2nd and 3rd person come to you with the SAME criticism, you need to take the matter to your mentors and people that hold you accountable.  What can they speak into the situation?  Do you need to take action?  Perhaps you need to evaluate, repent, ask God to help you grow, seek forgiveness.  However, beware of 2 things:  the first is make sure that the people that are coming to you have done so independently.  Make sure that they have not conspired together to confront you simply because it would benefit them.  Secondly, if the criticism has not been the same,  meaning one person is unhappy with "this" and another with "that", you could simply be under attack by the enemy to make you feel defeated and cause you to retreat from the mission that the Father has given you. 

Step 3:  When multiple people come to you in love with the same criticism, you need to take action.  NOW, still be cautious.  Action does not mean that you are in "the wrong" and need to stop what you are doing.  If the Father has given you revelation, clear direction and instructions, you must obey.  However, perhaps the people that you are leading/influencing need more time in their personal growth in order to follow.  Maybe you need to do a better job in explaining your vision and shepherding those that you are leading/influencing.  The Holy Spirit will convict you and lead you in how to make changes in your life:  be it flushing out sin or maturing in your walk. 

Be encouraged.  If you are going through this, you are being used by God in a powerful way.

Right now, my son is experiencing terrible bone aches.  He is growing and growth of all kinds can be painful!  He keeps saying, "I will be taller than you mom by the time I am 12...three more months."

You too will be "taller" than this present struggle and it does have an end.  Embrace sanctification; invite transparency; and guard yourself against the enemy!  You are the child of the one true King - Go out and shake up the world for Him! 

Don't let pride keep you from growth; and don't let critics rule your behavior!! 

AT   - Hello My Name Is         
 

Not Today Temptation!

Overall, I am not a sweets person, AND...hold your breath....I really don't care for chocolate. Yes, I am 100% female, but alas, I don't see what the big deal is over the stuff.  I do have my "guilty pleasures".  You don't get to be my size by accident.  However, as a general rule I am not tempted by sweets.  At least I thought I wasn't tempted...

Over the last 20 years, the U.A.E. has been invaded by fast-food chains.  (I find it no coincidence that obesity and diabetes are huge problems here!)  One restaurant is often linked with another sharing precious real-estate space.  They have all mastered the art of crafty advertising, bargains and specials as well as seasonal/monthly give-a-ways.  However, it is my opinion that none do it better than Baskin Robins/Dunkin Donuts.  Yep, and that opinion is coming from a non-sweet eater.  In fact, two of my least favorite things are ice cream and cake donuts, but EVERY time I walk or drive past an establishment I think, "Hmm, I'd like to go in there."

The stores are splashed with vibrant colors, well placed advertisements, incentives, festive lounge areas, patios, shade, etc.  I often find myself thinking, "I should try a donut.  Look how cute it is.  Perhaps I will like it this time.?" 

Wait - WHAT?!  I am getting closer to 40 than I would like to admit....I have eaten Dunkin Donuts....I know what they taste like...they are not my thing...WHY do I think that will change just because of fancy icing, umbrella chairs and freebies?

The crazy thing is...it IS working.  People are flocking to these stores.  They are ALL OVER the country.  You can't drive down a street without seeing one.  Now, granted, I know that to many they actually like the sweet stuff.  However, it can't be just the taste that is luring very picky eaters. (Most Central Asians and Arabs are "finicky" about foods...learned that hard lesson in Turkey.)  Some of the credit has to fall to the craftiness of the marketers. 

The question I am asking myself today is, "Why do I so easily fall for the gimmicks?"

Well, perhaps it goes back to what the Bible says about the lust of the flesh and eyes, and the pride of life.  I know I need to drop some pounds, but it is so hard to say no to my flesh.  My eyes are deceived by what seems to be good, but is not good for me.  My pride wants to tell me that I can make up for the calories with my next visit to the treadmill, but time has not lied to me.  The months of eating wrong have not "paid off" by exercise.  I have to make a hard and fast choice to change. 

I think it is like this in so many areas of our lives.  Temptations my be great but they do not have to be given the victory.  I can walk past the bright yellow, smiley faced donuts and ice cream snowmen and say, "Not today temptation; not today!"    

James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man that endures temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him."  There are all sorts of debates around what that crown of life will be; to whom and when it will be given, but the bottom line is this - the momentary pleasures of this life are nothing compared to what God desires for us. 

Right now, I know that God desires that I trust Him for what is good and pleasing.  Jesus overcame the world by understanding the power of the Word of God.  May I spend each day with my focus not on food or exercise (or whatever tempts you) but on filling my mind with His Word.  I know that it will be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (Ps. 119:105)  It will guide me right past the donut shops and over to the Asian salad bar! 

Speaking Truth over Temptation today!  AT  

I have Good News!!

Did that title catch ya?  Are you ready for some life changing, amazing news...

You are?  Do you want me to just spill it out right now, or would you like for me to go on and on for a few paragraphs....

I could tell you how much I love my news.  I could tell you about how much my news has changed my life; how much it helps me in my present life and that it has given me a different future.  I could write loads of sentences about how much my great news is really the best "deal" ever and that anyone can have the same news.... Yes, I do believe I could go on and on and on...

Is that what you want, or do you want me to just spill it so that you can be in the know?

Okay - here's the news:  "That Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." (I Corinthians 15:3-4)

And to make the news a littler sweeter; I would like to add:  "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)

Yep, it's that simple. That is the good news in basically 2 sentences.  I have no other news that is better or will ever be better than this news!

As Believers, we know this good news, but when asked if we are actively sharing the gospel (good news) we somehow go into freak out mode!  And the excuses begin:  Well, I don't have all the answers....I am waiting for the right time...I am showing the news with my actions...I am inviting people to church and Christian events...

Yes, I know that timing and relationship is important when speaking truth into someone's life.  No, we don't want to be offensive in our sharing....BUT don't be fooled, the good news may offend some people.  HOWEVER, it is still the GOOD NEWS!  It is truly the only good news.  If we really believe that, we will share, share, share!!  AT