Finding the romance in getting older and being a mom...

This mother's day will be my 39th birthday!  Wow, was it just 10 years ago that I was turning 29 while on vacation in Hawaii and claiming that having a birthday on the islands makes one young forever? Hummm, well that was a fun thought; however, I do feel 10 years OLDER.  Time has marched on for sure. 

When my mother was 39, I was turning 18 and graduating from High School. Wow, that is another crazy thought!  I cannot imagine having an 18 year old right now.  (and I am not her oldest child)  Hummm, well THAT makes me feel young!  My mom had so much responsibility at such a young age and what a wonderful job she did if I do say so myself! 

Recently a single friend of mine was joking on facebook about her life lacking "romance".  While reflecting on her life and her view, the Lord revealed something special to me about real romance:

"K" is an "older" single that is still trusting God to bring her a husband in HIS time and choosing, but about 5 years ago the Father led her on an amazing journey.  Like many Australians in a struggling home economy she moved to the UAE with the hopes of stable work and profits to put monies aside for retirement.  She did find that here, but she also saw something that many chose to ignore...the plight of the ground level house worker....specifically Ethiopian women. 

Many women come here to escape poverty and harsh conditions in their home countries only to find that they have entered into a different type of impoverished cycle.  Suffering abuse at the hands of their employers, often they find themselves pregnant and discarded back onto a plane bound for home again.  (or in prison here as it is a crime on the woman's part the be pregnant out of marriage!) Not wanting to place shame on their families and not having a way to care for a child, the infant is then the one discarded in Ethiopia as the mom must return again somewhere in Arabia to find work...it is all about "survival" not "living". 

Like our family, my friend first saw the needs of the orphans.  Despite being single she took on the challenge of raising a little girl.  As the first year passed, she began to realize that she was being called to something bigger.  She moved to Ethiopia and is now running a home for orphans, but more than that she is teaching and providing employment for young women to better themselves.  Working with the Ethiopian Women's Ministry she hopes to save many women from modern day indentured servitude.

I challenged her on her woes of romance.  What could be more "romantic" than the service of motherhood (and/or a life given to God's calling).  Romance isn't a Hollywood movie or a Harlequin book (or even a "Christian fiction" romance novel - ouch!).  I challenged her thinking because I believe too many of my single friends and moms have a negative view of their calling, and because I believe the Father is challenging me to change my attitude as well.  

Yes, I am blessed to be married!  Don't read this wrong - Matt Travis - is one of the BEST things about my life.  I am honored to be his wife and the mother of HIS children.  I love that I have the privilege to walk this journey with him.  However, in my duties as a mother I am now challenging myself to see "romance" and the real "joy"...the real "love". 

Not that I will be exempt from making mistakes this "go round", but I am truly grateful for the opportunity to be an older mom with infants/toddlers again.  I LOVED my time with William and Grace at this age, but I think as a 20 something year old I was still trying so hard to "figure it all out" and "do it right", that I missed the romance I missed LIVING in the moment.  It was gone too quickly. 

Romance isn't a trip to Hawaii.  Being a mom to a toddler doesn't have to be filled with enrichment activities and play dates.  Real romance is the day in day out living.  It is the unconditional love....the kind that wipes up your child's vomit and still kisses that little one on the mouth because they are shocked and confused at this terrible thing happening to their body...you know where I am going with this.  The sacrificial list of moms is long.  (and should be as a wife too) 

Let's encourage each other as moms this weekend to look at life with our "rose colored glasses" on.  It really is okay to be positive and optimistic about the little things.  There is romance in turning 39, romance in serving in a 3rd world country, romance in watching the same Barney episode for the 100th time, and the list goes on if we choose to change our perspective.   

"As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.  For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass; flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children's children, to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments." Psalm 103:13-18

Now THAT is Romance!  True love shown by the Father!   AT             

His Provision

   

 

As the weather warms, I have been feeling a dread in the pit of my stomach in regards to turning on our cooling system.  We do not have a "central air conditioning" system like in America.  Don't get me wrong - I AM TOTALLY GRATEFUL for what we have, but it pulls a lot of electricity to get it to run and we simply cannot afford to cool the house 24 hours a day all summer long.  Knowing temperatures get up in the 120s makes me more than a little anxious for our health and sanity!  (don't try to comfort me by saying it's a dry heat - whatever that means - this is not Arizona...it is the Arab PENINSULA...the humidity intensity is real people!)

However, today as I went to check on the growth of our newest additions to the Travis Pigeon Hooch, I was reminded of God's faithfulness.

"Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" Matthew 6:26

When we were first given the pigeon flock and all of their living quarters, I was amazed at our answer to prayer for William to have an activity that enabled him to be outside and work.  God just dropped it all in our laps by a random new acquaintance.  HE is so good like that!  I have wondered over the past months how we are going to have the money to continue to feed them, pair them, grow the flock to find "racers", but God has shown Himself faithful over and over again in this area.  I believe this activity is one between God and William.  God wants to teach William and reveal more of Himself to him.  I love watching it unfold.  (We are calling it the Pigeon Soap Opera.... The main character being William and his journey to manhood and personal growth...LOL!)  

One great example:  Randomly (or sovereignly if you will) we had a huge, gorgeous, white, wild couple show up on our front porch.  (valued at about $100 - God always sends the best!) They were not bothering the hooch in the back like wild trouble makers.  They were simply trying to make a nest in our front storage cabinet.  After 3 days, we decided that they were here to stay so William caught them and introduced them to the flock  Two weeks went by and William thought that they had had enough time to settle and decide if they wanted to live with us, so William gave them their freedom to come and go like all the other birds. 

Three long days followed with one coming back and the other leaving.  We were saddened to think we might have separated such a beautiful pair; however, in the end they both joined us and now have two beautiful white chicks.  FOUR beautiful racing birds straight from God!  Amazing are HIS ways! 

God not only cares for us, He gives us things we don't even realize we need.  I am asking the Father today to take away my anxious "air conditioner" heart and fill me with HIS cool refreshing wind.  May I have the strength to stand up under the heat of the summer and serve Him faithfully for my benefit and His glory!  If He can make wild birds choose to live with us, He can pay my electric bill and keep me cool this summer!  Claiming that Truth!
AT     

 

Obedience and Listening

This time last year, our family had just moved to Ethiopia to complete the adoption of our 2 youngest.  We arrived basically at the beginning of the Orthodox Easter fast. An Orthodox fast is mostly a vegan diet - no animal products what-so-ever.  The grocery stores get rid of all products that have been made with butter, milk, etc. to help regulate people.  It is a serious deal.   

Before you read that I am condemning the practice, please note that I realize evangelical Believers like myself choose to participate in "lent" or other fasts to prepare our hearts for celebrations.  Also, I have been in Muslim counties during Ramadan so I know the serious nature of followers that believe they need to fast to find favor with God.    

That being said...the whole month I wanted to scream GOD WANTS YOUR HEARTS NOT YOUR WORKS!  As the month waned on, we found the people were weak and lethargic.  Many were unable to work and spent a great deal of time simply sleeping around the city.  (This also helps them prove to others that they are indeed fasting!)  At the end of the fast there was a three day celebration where people killed animals in a ceremonial ritual,  ate raw meat, and almost exclusively stuffed themselves with animal products.  They did this to the point of vomiting and exhaustion.  It was madness in my opinion.  How did this become a "Christian" practice?     
    
I found myself asking our driver and the ladies at the orphan home more and more about what they felt they needed from the Lord or to do for the Lord.  What drove them to this style of fasting?  I found that this was not just something they do at Easter. (which is considered the "great" fast - meaning longest and most important)  If they were to be found "good" in the Lord's eyes, they would fast on EVERY Wednesday and Friday, plus there are 6 other fasting times set during the year. (Christmas and other Saint days)  Wow, the time it must take to "work" on being a proper faster.  I asked why they didn't just adopt a vegan diet altogether and save time and illness.  They said that then it would not be "special" and wouldn't be a sacrifice to the Lord.

I just kept thinking of the verse in 1 Samuel where Samuel tells the people, "Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord?  Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams."  (1 Sam. 15:22) So what does the Lord want from us?  The answer is obedience and listening.

The Father wants our walk with Him to be consistent and constant.  Yes, fasting at times to focus our hearts (not to "appease" God or find favor) is a good practice.  At the end of my life; however, I want to be found having walked with the Lord day in and day out.  I want to know His voice so well that in a time of fast or in a time of celebration I hear and know His will.

This year, during this time of lent (or the "great fast"), our family did not choose to "give up" any particular item.  We are choosing instead to pray for the people of Ethiopia.  May they give their hearts to the Lord and not just their sacrifice.  May they see and understand the full grace of the Almighty. 

As we all get our hearts ready for the celebration of the death and resurrection of our Savior, may we ask ourselves where we need to listen and come into full obedience.   

AT  

His Love in Our Perfection

After almost 6 years in Muslim countries, I am still learning new things all the time about culture and habits of the people.  In our recent search for a new home, it was finally pointed out to me why in EVERY home you will find a tile placed upside down in a pattern or a different colored tile laid in the flooring.  I have always assumed it was poor craftsmanship.  However, it is done on purpose.  Their saying is "Only Allah is perfect."  In other words, it is not that they cannot do something "perfect" it is that they WILL NOT because they do not want to take any of Allah's glory.

 

My first thoughts were, "How noble!  Why is it that as followers of Jehovah God we place an importance on being perfect?  Are we disrespecting God?"

 

Christ tells us in the Sermon on the Mount, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." (Matthew 5:6)  He is instructing us to have a deep desire in all the things of this earth to seek God.  In this we will find fulfillment.  Just before this instruction He sums up what He had been sharing by saying, "You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:48) 

 

So what does this mean?  Is Jesus setting us up to offend our Heavenly Father? 

 

No, He is not.  This is yet another picture for us to learn and marvel in the great love of our Lord.  Perfection is not something that can be obtained by ourselves.  We all know that, yet it is our sinful hearts that crave the praise and attention of being our own masters in certain areas of our lives.  The perfection that Christ is teaching is one gained through His redemption and sanctification.  It is obtained through the process of dependence, faith, and a daily walk with the Lord.  

 

Our Heavenly Father desires a personal relationship with us.  He wants our perfection for His glory.  We do not take God's glory or disrespect Him when we are working for His Kingdom purposes.  He takes great delight in working through us.  Paul instructs us in Colossians 3:23, "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men."

 

I am humbled that the God of all creation desires to show His perfection and awesome power through His children.  Let us strive to live in a way that shows the world that Jehovah, the Lord Almighty, loves us to perfection.  He is faithful and will never give up on us.         

 

Marriage - Saving the Best Until Last

When Matt and I were in pre-marital counseling, our mentor gave us an example that shaped our view on taking care of our marriage relationship.   He said that marriage is like a garden.  You only get out of it what you put in; you must take time to pull the weeds; when you stop working on it, it will no longer produce; etc. etc. with the analogies.  It may seem silly, but we took it as solid advice and a very practical measuring stick for us to come back to over the years.

Every Friday we travel up to the northern most Emirate to attend a new church start.  On the way up, we pass a house on top of a sand dune in the middle of the dessert.  Over the past 2 years we have watched the family consistently seed, water, and care for their property.  Now, after all their effort, time and expense, the entire "hill" is green.  It is like an oasis stop in the middle of their brown world.  It is a marvel really...a wonderful "feat" to have accomplished.  Today, our question for them is, "Now what?"  Will they continue to keep it green or will they grow weary of the process?

Here is a portion of a devotional that I read recently: 

John 2:9-10 says, "Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, 'Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.'"  

The excitement of a wedding gets marriages started off on the right foot.  Through the honeymoon stage, it's all love and kisses.  But not even the best of marriages can maintain that high note.  There are peaks and valleys, good times and hard times, the highest of highs and difficult, daunting challenges far greater than ever imagined.  What to do , then, when the wine of love runs out?  Perhaps the best advice comes from what Mary said to the servants:  "Do whatever he (Jesus) tells you."  How could any couple possibly do better than that?  And the reward?  As virtually all married couples can attest, through good times and bad the Master of miracles saves the very best till last.

F. LaGard Smith The Daily Bible Devotional Book

I have never looked at the story of Jesus changing the water to wine in respect to what a long faithful, fruitful marriage should look like.  It just seemed to be about the wedding and how amazing Jesus is.  However, it would seem there is truly more to take away.  If in our marriages we take the advice of Mary and "do whatever Jesus tells us", WOW the power and fruit that will come of them.

Matt and I can testify that our garden of marriage is more abundant now than it was 18 years ago.  We can also share that pulling weeds and watering is a lot of work and sometimes seems exhausting in difficult circumstances.   However, what a beautiful reward to be able to sit in our "retirement home" one day and drink of the wine produced from the grapes of a well tended garden.  

May we endeavor to keep the grass green as we look to Christ to show us where we need to grow in our rolls as husband and wife.

Happy Valentine's Day!  AT

PS:  On a silly note:  I think this is funny!

 

Just Sitting is O.K.

Well the move is over.  That is not to say that there is not a list a mile long of things that need to be done, fixed, replaced, etc.  I am just taking joy in the fact that all the boxes are out of the house and everything has found a new "spot" to take up residence. (even if that "spot" is a pile in a comer with other "like items")

One of the great things about our new place, is the fact that it has a room that we have been able to make into a bedroom for the babies.  It has been great having them in with Matt and I for the past 8 months.  I think it has helped with bonding and with all the transitions; however, they are at a good place emotionally to have their own space.  One thing is for sure, their "stuff" needs to find its own "home". 

It is amazing how much one can collect in such a short period of time!  We have even been purposeful in trying to keep things at a "need" only in-take, but things have worked their way in anyway.  (point aside - we do feel so blessed in how much others have given to help us!!)

As I sat on the floor trying to sort through and organize the nursery, I had to keep taking someone off my lap and giving them a toy.  I was beginning to get frustrated when I stopped and looked into Micah's eyes.  I almost cried at what I read in them.  He didn't want the toys.  He wanted ME!  I have been so busy with other things - though important and needed jobs - that I hadn't taken many opportunities to just rock and hold anyone.

We can give our kids all sorts of things from electronics to puzzles, but in the end, from our teens to our toddlers, all they really want is us = uninterrupted, focused TIME!

How true is that even in our relationship with our heavenly Father!  We have Bible apps and Christian movies; devotionals; commentaries; topical books; online lessons; study groups; fellowships and meetings with other Believers...but one of the most critical things is being alone with Him.  NOT with our "toys" - but just sitting in His lap. 

I read a funny ditty the other day.  It said, "If you want to hear from God, read His Word.  If you want to hear audibly from God, read His Word out-loud!" 

I do believe that God speaks in other ways.  He has in my life.  However, it is so important that we simply spend regular time "curled up" in the lap of His Word.  He is speaking to us, guiding us, comforting us, instructing us, etc.

So despite what all the "health nuts" and personal trainers are telling us....Just sitting is O.K.  In fact it is quite beneficial to us in so many ways. 

AT  

 

Pitching Our Tent

January for many we know is the month for ski trips and layered clothing or resigning themselves to indoor sports.  For us in the UAE, this is the time to get out...check out the parks, have picnics, go for a walk, etc.

I don't claim to be one that likes the "great outdoors".  I am not the hiker, mountain climber, roughing it type.  As a general rule I fall into the sunscreen/mosquito spray wearing must have a fan and a soft bed type.  However, I will admit that some of my best memories over the years have been made "in the woods" with dear friends and time alone with my Savior!   

While we were still in the States, our friends the Fishers first exposed us to the fun of camping.  For several years in a row we accompanied them over Memorial weekend to out -of-the-way spots in Texas and Oklahoma where we set up camp and enjoyed the wiles of the outdoors.  They were excellent teachers with instructions on what to pack, cooking over an open fire, and most importantly how and where to pitch our tent.  The first year they arrived before us, carefully clearing our spot and helping with our tent.  The next year we worked together to find a spot, clear the twigs and debris, and erect the tents.  Then it was time for us to arrive early and make the preparations the following year. 

Who would have thought that these lessons would have been something that we would carry with us overseas?  However, we discovered that one of the things that the Believers of East Turkey like to do each year is take a week to get away together and camp somewhere.  The first year we went, we were so grateful that we could at least pitch a tent.  Our language skills were limited and having our "dwelling" up was essential for shade in 100+ degree weather.  The next year we were able to help "newbies" more and begin the process of passing on our "wisdom of the woods". 

Now we find ourselves in a new situation:  camping without the forest.  Dessert camping is bringing a whole different learning curve and skill set into our lives.  Pitching our tent is more about finding a sand dune that will provide shade and wind protection rather than clearing the ground from twigs and watching out for tree roots.

However the process of learning, training, and discipling is going much the same. 

In Genesis 12 we read of Abraham stopping to pitch the family tent.  If you remember the Lord had just called him out on his journey of faith.  "And he removed from there to a mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Hai on the east: and there he built an altar to the LORD, and called on the name of the LORD." Genesis 12:8

The situation of Abram’s tent between Bethel and Ai must have commanded a view of the valley of the Jordan and of the Dead Sea, with the mountains of Moab.  Abram made open profession of his faith, and worshipped with his household at an altar dedicated to Jehovah. 

When I "get over my girlie self" and head out to camp in God's beautiful creation, the thing I LOVE is having a time of worship.  There is just something so special about a camp fire, the night sky, and songs of praise!  How truly grateful I am for family and friends that come alongside us and help us  experience new things and see God in a whole new way.  What a blessing it is to be able to break away from the routine of life, head out to a new place, pitch our tent, and praise God.

Where will we pitch our tents this year?  Yes, finding that spot to physically pitch a tent is fun and memories in the making.  However, WHO am I pitching tents with this year is a more important question.  Do I have people in my life that I am working to share with, teach, and train?  Let us all work together to show someone (disciple someone) in learning more about the Father.  What if we all just invested in one person for 2015; what would the world look like? 

AT