I really love books! However, when reading a novel I do not care for authors that leave things “hanging”. It really bothers me not to have all of the details wrapped up with a bow on top. I have often wondered why I have a hard time just letting things go. Maybe it is just general laziness on my part. I don’t like to have to think or debate all the possibilities and wonder what really happened. I would prefer the outcome to just be laid out. Well, maybe it is not laziness, but simply the insecurity of it all. I may not like a conclusion, but at least it is final, and I can accept it and move forward.
Two of my favorite authors are Lori Wick and Tracie Peterson. At the end of each of Lori Wick’s books, the story is finalized. She even gives a little epilogue so that the reader can have a few happily ever after details. She moves on to the next book in the series using a few of the characters from the first book, but it is a new adventure and new main characters. I just love that process. Tracie Peterson, on the other hand, almost never wraps up a book. A few things may be resolved and the journey is well established, but the book is almost always abruptly ended. All of the “details” are not worked out until the end of the entire series.
This little quirk in my personality started me thinking about my own “life story”. I have cheerfully said to family and friends that I felt like God was starting a new chapter for me and our family. Childhood chapter (check) Teen chapter (check) College chapter (check) New married chapter (check) Baby chapter (check) 10 years marriage & moving to school age kids (check – right?)
Honestly, I think I have it wrong. This came to me after my birthday a few weeks ago. My mother gave me a new Bible. It is the exact Bible I have been saying that I would like to have. My current Bible still has a lot of wear left in it, but I have made notes on almost all the pages. There is not “room” for God to reveal something new to me.
BUT….I love my old Bible. I love looking at it and seeing all God has taught me over the almost 12 years that I have had it. God has been so faithful. This has not been an easy time in life. I have faced many hardships, struggles and loss, but in many ways I have learned and grown so much…wrapped up with a bow, right?...
Wrong?....I have learned so much, but there are so many things that do not seem complete, and it is really bothering me that all of the details are not “wrapped up”. I have been evaluating my inability to begin using my “new” Bible. Don’t I want God to show me something new? Honestly, I think it has to do with my belief that ALL details need to be pulled together before anything else can take place. I think somehow I have misunderstood God’s process.
I don’t know that life is about “chapters”. Sometimes, I think that He wants to start a new book in the series of my life so that He can keep me moldable and teach me something new. If I am constantly looking back over the past “chapters” to see what God has done, I may miss what He wants to do.
In order for Him to begin a new work in my life, I do not need to have all of the details currently in my life concluded. Sometimes the process of moving on to a “new book” is about simple faith and desire to still be usable. Just like in a Tracie Peterson book, all of the details will be concluded at the “end of the series”.
It is not that I shouldn't look back at the notes and things that God has taught me in my “old” Bible, but in-order for Him to get my full attention He needs me to have a “clean page” in a “new book” of instruction and guidance. Our pastor has mentioned doing something I think is interesting. Many different times he has journaled through a One Year Bible. He has done this with different people in mind to give the Bible to as a gift, but I have thought that it must be a great way to allow God to speak without getting caught up in the “this is what God revealed to me before” routine/rut.
God’s character never changes, and a deeper relationship with Him is built on my current one, but my attitude needs to always be that of a humble student desiring to learn something new.
Your thoughts are always welcome.
AT
1 comment:
Amy, how funny, I love those authors too! You should also read Debrah White Smith and Wanda Brunstetter (she writes fiction stories about the Amish)
About closing chapters and moving onto new ones. Yes we do have to move onto new things God has for us but remember life is also like one big book. And although the chapter maybe closed the end will not come until eternity. We may close a chapter but the final understanding is still to come, it's not finished. We need to look back at those chapters to build on them. Like layers. We can't add a layer of understanding and deeper knowledge without the previous layer. After my loss I would revisit some of my favorite verses and relook at them. I took my previous understanding and built on it based on my new experiences. A whole new understanding came about but without the previous layer I wouldn't have gotten there.
Just a few thoughts! Leslie
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