16 Years and Counting...

A few years ago in an interview we were asked to rate our marriage on a scale of 1 to 10.  Matt immediately piped up and said, "Oh, we're a 10!".  I must admit I was a little embarrassed.  My first thoughts were that Matt should have been more humble and that our marriage is not perfect.  The interviewer responded with what appeared to be a skeptical "hmmm" and asked Matt to elaborate. The brief yet confident explanation that followed changed the way I looked at Matt and our marriage forever.

"I will never look at my marriage as anything less than a 10.  The moment I do is the instant that the enemy has the opportunity to attack.  We know we are not perfect, but we work each day to be sanctified in Him.  A mentor once told us that our marriage is like a garden.  The fruit, beauty and pleasure that it yields will be a direct result of the time and effort that is spent on and in the garden.  In my mind, Amy is a 10 and our marriage is a 10, and I am committed to this thought process and relationship."

The interviewer sat back and grinned broadly.  His response amazed me.  He said, "In all my years of interviewing couples (hundreds of Christian couples mind you) you are only the second couple that has responded with this answer."  He went on to say that he too believed that his marriage was a 10 and he wouldn't settle for any other thoughts towards his wife or their relationship.  He believed that many issues within marriages today start with flawed thinking and a misunderstanding of unconditional love.

Unconditional is...well - no conditions.  You choose to love someone no matter what.  As a parent I don't say, "I'll love you if; I'll love you until..." 

God says, "I loved you even when you were in sin; I loved you first; and I'll love you always."  Why should our relationship with our spouse be any different?

To say that you are in a 10 relationship is not ignoring issues.  If there are things in your personal life or marriage relationship that are keeping you from believing you are a 10, then you need to work on them.  DO NOT SETTLE by saying, "Well we're a 9 maybe an 8.  We know we have issues."  If you know there are issues, FIX THEM!  NO it is not easy, and YES it is that easy.  Change is a choice. 

Sometimes the only change is accepting someone for who they are (flaws and all) and just beginning to speak positively about them and your marriage.  It is amazing how someone will begin to act when you tell them they are a 10.  Suddenly, they want to be a 10.  When you say your marriage is a 10 you begin doing things that keep it/make it a 10! 

Last week Matt and I were in another interview (non-Christian setting) and the question was posed, "Rate your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10."  We smiled at each other....then I responded, we are a 10!

Happy 16th Anniversary My Love!
Yours Forever           

There are always critics! What do I do?

Recently, we were approached by a fellow brother in Christ and asked if we would pray for him.  He has embarked upon a new work for the Lord and seems to be bombarded with negative criticism.  After spending time in prayer for him, here is what Matt and I agreed we were to share.  Perhaps it will be helpful to you too:
 
What do I do when I am feel attacked by criticism?

Step 1:  When the first person comes to you, consider the source.  Does this person have "the right" to speak into your life, or have you allowed someone that doesn't know you and have your best interest in mind to cross a boundary that you did not have well established?  If they have freedom in your life, begin to pray about what was said.  If they do not, let it go.  Do not let it take root in your heart.  Pray for the person and set better boundaries in your life!

Step 2:  When a 2nd and 3rd person come to you with the SAME criticism, you need to take the matter to your mentors and people that hold you accountable.  What can they speak into the situation?  Do you need to take action?  Perhaps you need to evaluate, repent, ask God to help you grow, seek forgiveness.  However, beware of 2 things:  the first is make sure that the people that are coming to you have done so independently.  Make sure that they have not conspired together to confront you simply because it would benefit them.  Secondly, if the criticism has not been the same,  meaning one person is unhappy with "this" and another with "that", you could simply be under attack by the enemy to make you feel defeated and cause you to retreat from the mission that the Father has given you. 

Step 3:  When multiple people come to you in love with the same criticism, you need to take action.  NOW, still be cautious.  Action does not mean that you are in "the wrong" and need to stop what you are doing.  If the Father has given you revelation, clear direction and instructions, you must obey.  However, perhaps the people that you are leading/influencing need more time in their personal growth in order to follow.  Maybe you need to do a better job in explaining your vision and shepherding those that you are leading/influencing.  The Holy Spirit will convict you and lead you in how to make changes in your life:  be it flushing out sin or maturing in your walk. 

Be encouraged.  If you are going through this, you are being used by God in a powerful way.

Right now, my son is experiencing terrible bone aches.  He is growing and growth of all kinds can be painful!  He keeps saying, "I will be taller than you mom by the time I am 12...three more months."

You too will be "taller" than this present struggle and it does have an end.  Embrace sanctification; invite transparency; and guard yourself against the enemy!  You are the child of the one true King - Go out and shake up the world for Him! 

Don't let pride keep you from growth; and don't let critics rule your behavior!! 

AT   - Hello My Name Is         
 

Not Today Temptation!

Overall, I am not a sweets person, AND...hold your breath....I really don't care for chocolate. Yes, I am 100% female, but alas, I don't see what the big deal is over the stuff.  I do have my "guilty pleasures".  You don't get to be my size by accident.  However, as a general rule I am not tempted by sweets.  At least I thought I wasn't tempted...

Over the last 20 years, the U.A.E. has been invaded by fast-food chains.  (I find it no coincidence that obesity and diabetes are huge problems here!)  One restaurant is often linked with another sharing precious real-estate space.  They have all mastered the art of crafty advertising, bargains and specials as well as seasonal/monthly give-a-ways.  However, it is my opinion that none do it better than Baskin Robins/Dunkin Donuts.  Yep, and that opinion is coming from a non-sweet eater.  In fact, two of my least favorite things are ice cream and cake donuts, but EVERY time I walk or drive past an establishment I think, "Hmm, I'd like to go in there."

The stores are splashed with vibrant colors, well placed advertisements, incentives, festive lounge areas, patios, shade, etc.  I often find myself thinking, "I should try a donut.  Look how cute it is.  Perhaps I will like it this time.?" 

Wait - WHAT?!  I am getting closer to 40 than I would like to admit....I have eaten Dunkin Donuts....I know what they taste like...they are not my thing...WHY do I think that will change just because of fancy icing, umbrella chairs and freebies?

The crazy thing is...it IS working.  People are flocking to these stores.  They are ALL OVER the country.  You can't drive down a street without seeing one.  Now, granted, I know that to many they actually like the sweet stuff.  However, it can't be just the taste that is luring very picky eaters. (Most Central Asians and Arabs are "finicky" about foods...learned that hard lesson in Turkey.)  Some of the credit has to fall to the craftiness of the marketers. 

The question I am asking myself today is, "Why do I so easily fall for the gimmicks?"

Well, perhaps it goes back to what the Bible says about the lust of the flesh and eyes, and the pride of life.  I know I need to drop some pounds, but it is so hard to say no to my flesh.  My eyes are deceived by what seems to be good, but is not good for me.  My pride wants to tell me that I can make up for the calories with my next visit to the treadmill, but time has not lied to me.  The months of eating wrong have not "paid off" by exercise.  I have to make a hard and fast choice to change. 

I think it is like this in so many areas of our lives.  Temptations my be great but they do not have to be given the victory.  I can walk past the bright yellow, smiley faced donuts and ice cream snowmen and say, "Not today temptation; not today!"    

James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man that endures temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him."  There are all sorts of debates around what that crown of life will be; to whom and when it will be given, but the bottom line is this - the momentary pleasures of this life are nothing compared to what God desires for us. 

Right now, I know that God desires that I trust Him for what is good and pleasing.  Jesus overcame the world by understanding the power of the Word of God.  May I spend each day with my focus not on food or exercise (or whatever tempts you) but on filling my mind with His Word.  I know that it will be a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. (Ps. 119:105)  It will guide me right past the donut shops and over to the Asian salad bar! 

Speaking Truth over Temptation today!  AT  

I have Good News!!

Did that title catch ya?  Are you ready for some life changing, amazing news...

You are?  Do you want me to just spill it out right now, or would you like for me to go on and on for a few paragraphs....

I could tell you how much I love my news.  I could tell you about how much my news has changed my life; how much it helps me in my present life and that it has given me a different future.  I could write loads of sentences about how much my great news is really the best "deal" ever and that anyone can have the same news.... Yes, I do believe I could go on and on and on...

Is that what you want, or do you want me to just spill it so that you can be in the know?

Okay - here's the news:  "That Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures." (I Corinthians 15:3-4)

And to make the news a littler sweeter; I would like to add:  "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)

Yep, it's that simple. That is the good news in basically 2 sentences.  I have no other news that is better or will ever be better than this news!

As Believers, we know this good news, but when asked if we are actively sharing the gospel (good news) we somehow go into freak out mode!  And the excuses begin:  Well, I don't have all the answers....I am waiting for the right time...I am showing the news with my actions...I am inviting people to church and Christian events...

Yes, I know that timing and relationship is important when speaking truth into someone's life.  No, we don't want to be offensive in our sharing....BUT don't be fooled, the good news may offend some people.  HOWEVER, it is still the GOOD NEWS!  It is truly the only good news.  If we really believe that, we will share, share, share!!  AT         

April Showers bring May Flowers....

or at least we can hope that they do....

April was a tough month for our family - and I don't mean weather wise.  Actually, we keep hearing that the UAE has had more rain and milder weather than anyone can remember.  If that is true, I know it is a blessing because with everything else emotionally in my life...I don't think I could have taken the heat!!  I know God does not want me to "get out of the kitchen", so yes...yes, I am counting the weather as a merciful gift from Him!   

So rather than stand in the rain and discuss how wet it is, I have decided to look for the flowers, smell the roses and search for new life. 

How?

Well, literally at first....

I have never been one to have a "green thumb"; however, with living more inside due to the direct sun and heat, we have decided to try our hands at tending potted plants.  I know that they are good for cleaning the air as well as our general emotional health in seeing life grow around us, so we have jumped right into the world of houseplants.  I believe we have started "safe" right now.  We have some ivy, and a few other varieties that we have been told are hearty.  We'll see..

Should you find this area a joy in our own life, please - please, email me!  I would love advice!

Physically...

For mother's day, we decided to take the kids to a cluster of 4 museums:  Animals of Arabia Zoo; Animals of Arabia Petting Zoo; The History of Arabia and the Botanical History Museum.  It only cost the equivalent of about $10 for our whole family!  AND the best part...it was all inside (air conditioned!).  We had tons of fun!  Everything was hands on.  The kids loved "becoming bees" in the Botanical Museum and learning about how much we depend on plants in our everyday lives!  God created our world so special.  What a good God we serve! 

We hope to visit the new Miracle Gardens in Dubai this fall.  Click Here to see pictures....anyone want to come for a visit and go with us?!!!  You are more than welcome!  Beautiful!

Spiritually...

I am trusting that the One that is the Rose of Sharon/Lily of the Valley (Song of Solomon 2:1) is using all the circumstances in my life to grow me, strengthen me and challenge me.  I am claiming, Isaiah 58:11, "And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail."  I know I am not to worry over life circumstances because HE cares for the lilies and how they grow.  He will surly provide and take care of us. (Luke 12:27-28; Matthew 6:28) 

Yes, I know we all face challenging times.  April's showers sometimes seem like floods, and the ruts they make in our lives seem to be too deep to fill; however the SON is always there.  We use the experiences of April to serve Him in May. 

Choosing to bloom and grow....AT 

 

 

 

 

 

Remembering Special People Today

Today I turn 37.  Not really a significant year, yet somehow this year feels different.  Maybe it is because all that has changed and happened since last year.  Maybe it is realizing that my youngest is turning 10 in a few months.  Maybe it is simply crazy hormones, but all the same, I am weepy today.  In an effort to not fall headlong into a pity party, I decided to think about 2 people that share this same day with me. 

The first one is a childhood friend named Sherry.  I am not sure how old she would be today or if she is even still alive.  Sherry was a friend of mine from Virginia Beach, Virginia.  I lived there from about age 9 until about 12.  However, I only knew Sherry about a year of that time.  Sherry had Special Needs.  I am not sure exactly, but I believe she had Cerebral Palsy along with other limitations.  However, Sherry LOVED to ride her bike.  If I had to guess, it was because she felt strong and free while riding.  Perhaps some of the pain she daily endured was somehow minimize when she flew down the street on top of her custom beach-cruiser allowing the wind to blow through her hair.  Sadly, most of the time I was too caught up in playing baby dolls on my porch with the girl from next door, or Barbies with the girl from across the street to pay much mind to Sherry.  My excuse perhaps is that riding a bike was and is really not my thing.  Maybe it's an equilibrium issue from my own hearing loss - but excuses aside, I now regret not taking the time to ride more with Sherry.  Yes, she made me feel a little uncomfortable.  I was a child and "different" seemed scary.  However, in my heart of hearts even as a child, I knew that Sherry needed a friend. 

I am not sure if my mom knew Sherry's need for friendship, but for my birthday just before we moved from that house, I was given a bike.  Not that our home didn't have bikes for me to use had I chosen, but perhaps this was a subtle way to tell me to step-out.  For the last 2 weeks we lived in that house, I rode my bike almost every day with Sherry.  Her smile is something I will never forget. After we moved, I maybe rode my bike a hand full of times.  Again - it wasn't my thing.  That bike moved 3 more times with our family, and in the end I was required to use it during my high school sorority pledge week.  I confess I thought of Sherry every day that week, and I still do every time I have a birthday.  I pray she found girls that were better friends than I was.  I pray that she still finds pleasure astride a beach-cruiser with wind in her hair.  I am a different woman because of the simple joy I learned from her and the lesson of the importance of being a friend.

I have provided a link to a video of a school track and field event.  I wish that I would have been the encourager that these children are!  Inspirational Video - Story of a child with Spastic Cerebral Palsy.

The second person I am remembering today is Mrs. Mary June Burris.  She is the wife of my music minister during my teenage years.  Bro. Max passed away last summer, and Mrs. Mary June is now struggling with Alzheimer's disease.  I know she is surrounded by precious family, loving friends and a caring church family, but I can't help but wish that I could do something to minister to her during this time.  I regularly hear updates on her health and well being.  She is a strong woman who has used her life to serve the Lord. 

Babies were "her thing".  I don't even know how many infants she lovingly nurtured in her home over the years.  When the little ones started walking and getting around, they were moved to another dear lady - Jeffery Denton's home until they were old enough for school.  These 2 precious ladies have taught me so much about the power for our influence on young children.  Many think that "school age" is the time that learning begins, but these wise women know that it begins way before that first step onto the school bus. 

Mrs. Jeffery now regularly takes Mrs. Mary June back to her home so that she can pull out all the things that are familiar to her.  They spend hours remembering together years that have gone by; children that have grown and prayers the Lord has answered.  May it be said of me when I am in my later years that even if disease has taken my day to day memories - the influence and impact I had remains because of Christ's work through me.  I know I was a more attentive mom during my kids' early years because of the wisdom taught by these ladies.  May I serve the Lord and pray for my children and the children around me as these two special ladies have done all these years. 

Happy Birthday Sherry and Mrs. Mary June!  Thank you for your influences on my life!  AT   
  

Solid Ground or Sinking Sand

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus' name. 
When darkness seems to hide his face, I rest on his unchanging grace; In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, his covenant, his blood Support me in the whelming flood; When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
When he shall come with trumpet sound, Oh, may I then in him be found; Dressed in his righteousness alone, Faultless to stand before the throne.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand; All other ground is sinking sand, All other ground is sinking sand.

"The Solid Rock" by Eward Mote (1832) is a commonly sung hymn in Baptist churches, but are we truly practicing this kind of whole hearted trust and obedience?  Am I being shaken by the circumstances around me or is my anchor so rooted on solid ground that I hold fast and am obedient to my call no matter the floods?

As I have mentioned before, our apartment building is directly on the beach front.  One of our favorite things to do is watch the daily progress of the re-construction of the shoreline.  We are not sure all the reasoning behind it, but a sand bar has been removed and two jetties or small peninsulas are being constructed.  Large stones are being moved from one side to another and various digging and dumping of sand and rock are taking place as far as we can see in both directions.  We have been told that the Emirate of Ajman is making the beaches more pleasant to the eye as well as safer for small watercraft and vacationers.  As this is the country that has constructed the famous Palms and Islands of the World, I would venture to say that they know at least a little of what they are doing.  However, it does seem a very temperamental task.  As spring storms come and the water levels change, much of what was constructed in one day is washed away in another.  I suppose this is all part of the process....packing down the sand to make it stronger.  I am not sure.  What I do know is that islands built by man will never be solid enough to weather truly significant storms. 

Even as I live on this side of the beach...you know solid ground...I was reminded of this truth as a 3-4 aftershock of the Iranian earthquake rocked my home this month. Yes, nothing of this world is steadfast. Storms come; disasters occur; everything changes; the earth moves, and life can shift like sand in an instant. We cannot place our trust in this temporal moment.

However, neither can we live in fear.  We are clearly told that as Believers we have a cleft in the rock that He covers with His hand. (He Hideth My Soul by Frances Crosby)  We can stand on His promises even when the howling storms of doubt and fear assail us. (Standing on the Promises by R. Kelso Carter)

Psalm 46:1-3 assures us, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging."

Jesus gives us in Matthew 7:24-27 a parable of 2 men, "Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.  And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

Have I heeded Christ's words, or have I simply listened to them and yet ignored them in my obedience?

What is my hope built on today?  Nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness....or am I trying to cloth myself in a little of my own and His....

On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand...AT