The Pit of Compare

Yes, I am one of those girls from the generation that loves the film "The Princess Bride". I remember as a young teen sitting on my aunt's couch and watching it for the first time and thinking how wonderful it must be to love so much that not even THE PIT OF DESPAIR would kill me. Boy, the Father has taught me and is still teaching me a lot about love...mostly HIS love. I admit so often I really mess up in the "genuinely loving" department. It has come to my attention lately how much time I spend comparing instead of simply accepting and loving...whether it is comparing cities, cultures, new apartments, friends, family, myself, my children.....the list I am afraid to say goes on and on... Yes, I know I have been told since my feet hit the ground in this new country not to compare myself to other language learners. For the past 9 year, I have been told not to compare myself to other mothers, and I have most certainly been told not to compare my children...SO, why is it such a natural trap to fall into!? July 1st was our one year anniversary of living overseas. We decided to check out the new aquarium that was built about 30 minutes from our apartment. We had a great time, but while we were there Grace made a comment that really struck me. We were walking past an open fish tank and she so matter-of-factly stated, "Wow, these fish STINK....Not as bad as the bums on the train, but they stink!" Of course, I had to chuckle. She was right. The smell was bad, but not awful. However, in that moment the Lord convicted me with the futility in my sin of comparison. Why would I hold any two things up and compare them? EVERYTHING stinks outside of God! People are sinners no matter how "perfect" and "put together" they may appear to be. Children have different personalities and develop differently. Cities and cultures all over the world have positive and negatives! So, if everything stinks and yet God created everything and loves everyone, why do I fall into THE PIT OF COMPARE? I think the answer for me is most likely the sin of worry/anxiousness. I justify my "curiosity" about what someone else is doing by telling myself, "Well, I just want to make sure I am doing what is best for my family; I want to go deep in language & culture; I just wonder what others are facing in their culture." Hummm; if that is the case, then why do I feel emotionally better or worse based on the answer. Philippians 4:6 commands believers not to worry. In Matthew 6, Jesus assures us that our heavenly Father will take care of all of our needs. So, how do I stop? 1 Peter 5:7 tells us that we can cast our cares on Him. He will take care of us. Philippians goes on to say in 4:7 that He will give us peace. Practically speaking, what does that look like for me right now? Well, I have been repeating a very British phrase lately "MIND MY MOUTH". I am not just talking about what is coming audibly out of my mouth, but also the little conversations am I having with myself in my own head!! #1 God has our family right where HE wants us. Since, that is the case, there is nothing that we will face that HE will not see us through: I will learn language; My family will have our needs met; whatever comes our way physically - He is sovereign. #2 God has a standard set for all people, and my children need to be proactively parented to that standard. However, I need to be diligent to bring my two VERY different children lovingly to that standard without comparison to each other or to other children; and #3 I need to look to the positives with the new city and culture that God has for me. I need to love without "requirements". I need to accept without comparison. I guess that brings me to...what is the pitfall if I choose to live a life constantly comparing? I believe that the pitfall will be a life spent searching for favor with man rather than a life focused on offering unconditional love. What can I truly accomplish or gain that will have any lasting value if my basis for ministry, basis for parenting or basis for life is to find man's approval? It's funny how often when I hear or read about love, my ideal is still compared to "The Princess Bride" type of love. Would I face the pit of despair? Would I love faithfully over years of separation and unknown death? The truth is God gives us a perfect standard for love in His Son and in 1 Corinthians 13. Wow, it is a steep challenge, but I should be loving the world....even the stinky....with unconditional love. This is what will last. This is the standard. This is the only thing with which I should compare my actions and attitudes.
Climbing out of the Pit with faith, hope & love, and trusting that the plans He has for me are unique and perfect. AT

When no one else knows....

Until last night, I was probably one of the few people my age that had never read nor watched, Where the Red Fern Grows. I had heard of it, but I guess with all my moving around as a child, I skipped it somehow in school and never got around to it personally as an adult. Well, last night, we downloaded it off of youtube for Family Movie Night. ('74 version) It is not our normal practice to watch programs with the kids without previewing first (we also REALLY like to read books first!), but we had heard good things, so we plunged forward. This movie should have come with a BIG warning that it was going to set us all in tears! We are all a little emotionally sensitive right now with preparing to move again, but even without that factor, this movie is a heart squeezer. I do; however, still recommend it. It has brought up so many areas of discussion...the largest one being the subject of Integrity. We have discussed this "word" before as a family because it is in our Family Purpose Statement. (click here to read more) Several times throughout the movie, the main character, Billy, is faced with "choices" of whether to do the "right thing" or not. I think that one of the best scenes in the movie is the first time the dogs, Little Ann and Old Dan, have "treed a coon". The tree is way too large for a young boy to chop down. Billy ends up tiring and falling asleep. His parents find him the next morning resting under the tree. They tell him to give up and go home. The mother even asks him if "she is going to have to whip him on top of everything else". His response is that he will have to take the entire punishment due him because he promised the dogs that if they would do the work to track and tree a raccoon, he would retrieve it. What a great example of integrity. The promise was only made to dogs...not people. The tree was too big for a man...not to mention a young boy. Maybe if someone helped him, he could follow through with his promise. The excuses and reasons against keeping his word could go on and on, but the movie didn't let it go that way. Your word is your word no matter to whom or to what it is given. The dad simply gives the boy gloves and a bigger ax. The mom gives him water and some food. Then they leave him to do what he said he would do. Amazing! How often do I try to back track when what I said I would do gets too hard or maybe it is not working out like I wanted it to work? How often do I "let my kids off the hook" trying to "make things easier on them"? Our integrity is calculated in those moments in our lives when the actions we take and the words we say will be recorded and seen by no one. Proverbs, of course, has many verses that instruct us how to walk in wisdom and integrity. Proverbs 19:1 says, "Better is a poor person who walks in his integrity than one who is crooked in speech and is a fool." Proverbs goes on to say in 20:7 "The righteous who walks in his integrity - blessed are his children after him." Wow, what a challenge as a parent! How am I walking - even when I think no one is looking or listening? Are my children blessed because I am walking with integrity? I know my children are still young, but one thing that I have learned is that they ARE listening and looking even when I think they are not. Am I setting the example of integrity that I want them to follow? One of our favorite books is Dr. Seuss's book, The Cat in the Hat. For some reason, no matter what waiting room we were put in for our pediatrician in the States, The Cat in the Hat was the book available for us to read. The end of the book asks a very simple but important question that will test where a child is in the area of integrity. If you remember, the children in the book allowed the cat to come in to their house, break things, play with things and make a royal mess! However, the cat was able to magically mend, put everything to rights and leave the house before the mother returned. Upon her return, the mother asks, "Did you have any fun? Tell me. What did you do?" The book goes on to ask the last questions directly to the reader: "And Sally and I did not know what to say. Should we tell her the things that went on there that day? Should we tell her about it? Now, what should we do? Well....what would you do if your mother asked you?" My children's responses have been very telling over the years...A reflection of me...A reflection of their hearts...A reflection of an area that cannot be overlooked in the growing and nurturing of mighty men and women of God.

Looking for teachable moments, AT

THE BEST MAN IN THE WHOLE WORLD (We think anyway!)

How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways.....Okay, yes, that was cheesy, and yes, this is going to be a sappy blog. With Father's Day and our 13th Wedding Anniversary this week, I'm sorry this blog is just itching to be written. Of course, we think our husband/daddy is the best man in the whole world! You hear so many people say, "He is not the man I married." Yes, that is so true for us, and it should be for believers! I do not know how many times I have asked myself in the last 13 years: "How did I get so lucky?! It can't get better than this....and yet, it has!!" I was so young and naive, but God was so clear to us both. We are not total opposites, and we are not totally alike. Praise the Lord Matt is my best friend, my companion, my listening ear, my protector, provider and leader. He is so quick to show love, to ask forgiveness, to talk things through and bring reason to my sometimes crazy emotions! He always puts the needs of others first. He is passionate about His faith, dedicated to the call and steadfast in his pursuit of following the Father. I love the picture of our feet together because they are covered in sand. Matt & I have walk many tough roads together, and I know that the journey we are on will find us weary and dirty again. However, the blue of the ocean and the sparkle of the SON remind me of how blessed I am to have an amazing traveler at my side. The picture you see of the kids kneeling with Matt was NOT posed. Our children know that Matt is on his face before the Father every morning. I am not sure when it started, but for years now if the kids awake to see Matt praying, they love to join him. They can never "hang" near as long, but I confess my heart swells every time I see them together. This day was one of the few times I caught all three....had to snap the picture! YES, Matt is the best man in the whole world! My dad is the best daddy in the whole world because he loves all of us very much. I know he misses us when he goes on trips because he gives us lots of kisses before he leaves, he calls while he is gone and he spends time with us when he gets back and brings us surprises. He is a sweet daddy because he loves on us a lot. He reads to us; he helps us; he fixes our computer; he teaches me new things. One time we fixed a water sprinkler together, a fan and a lot of furniture. We do a lot of things together even getting on my grandma's house to put on the Christmas lights. I love my daddy!
My daddy is the best in the whole world because he always prays with me and helps me when I am hurt. He smiles at me when he is happy with me. He wrestles with me; he always fixes the breakfast. He colors and paints and does crafts with me. He puts me on his shoulders when I am too tired to walk. See, there you have it! Don't you agree; he is the BEST?! Okay, maybe you don't; maybe you think your husband/dad is the best....well, I guess that is how it should be! AT

A Weak Woman

I love Veggie Tales. I know they are silly cartoons and slightly annoying. It really goes against my personality to watch them at all, and yet there is something crazy that captures my attention. We had to leave most of our Veggie Tale movies in the States because they were VHS, but one of the movies we brought on DVDs is entitled "Larry Boy and the Bad Apple." The breakdown of the show is that an Apple/spider creature is out to take over a town by causing people to get entangled in her webs of temptations. She preys on people's weaknesses and drives them away from their important jobs. Isn't it funny how the Lord works in our lives sometimes?! As I was reading through Timothy, I was suddenly convicted with II Timothy 3:6 "For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses." Instantly upon reading the verse, I thought of "Larry Boy and the Bad Apple". We had just watched it the day before! What sins are in my life - weighing me down - allowing the enemy an opportunity to take me captive? Honestly, I am ashamed to say that there are several areas that the enemy can easily use to "captivate" me and lead me away from being effective in ministry, as a wife and as a mom. I have recently been challenged in those areas by several people to begin evaluating what I need to "put off" and "put on". Romans 13:14 says, "But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh..." I know in my flesh right now I am quick to be offended and quick to offend. When I am walking in my flesh I am quick to make poor choices and allow the enemy a foothold. Ephesians 4:24 says, "put on the new self, which is in the likeness of God and has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Do I choose each day to put on my new self that God over time is molding and shaping, or do I choose to get lazy and pick up my old self and act content with lukewarm obedience and transformation? Colossians 3:12 & 14 says, "So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; (14) Beyond all things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." May I surrender my heart in every moment of every day to walk in love. May I not be a woman that is "led by impulses", but is solidly and faithfully steadfast in Him!

Yes, I am a closet Veggie Tales fan, AT

Do you feel Invisible?

Recently, a friend of mine sent a video to me entitled, "The Invisible Woman". Truth be told, most of the time, I delete random mail, but this one caught my attention. I let it stay in my in-box for several days before taking the time to view it. I was glad that the Father brought this sharpening word my way. There are many days that I wonder if what I am doing in life will truly make a difference. In my mind, so much of what captures my day to day seems so trivial....wash clothes, hang clothes, fold clothes, put clothes away....and as I confessed in the last blog, it would seem that lately I am also worrying too much with pleasing others...not seeing what I am currently doing as a ministry and calling, but instead getting wrapped up in "are others happy". This YouTube clip was a good reminder of why I work and who I work to please. I praise the Lord that most of the time what I do is "invisible". I am not working to please man or to seek the praise of man. I realize that the "job" of a wife and mom is a privileged one. May I act and work in all things for His glory! John the Baptist says, "He must increase, but I must decrease." Yes, I want to be invisible. Anything that I would have to say or offer would just be worthless. Only the words and actions of Christ working through me will have any value to those around me now and coming behind me in the future. After my last post, a dear mentor of mind wrote: "Remember that at the end of every day when you can look into His face and ask the King if He is pleased with His servant (that's you) then you can get a daily report of your "legacy"." So well said! AT

If you would like to view the youtube video click here for the link. It is worth your time in viewing!

Am I leaving a Footprint?

Maybe I am just feeling old after having just celebrated another birthday, but the word LEGACY has been swirling around in my head over and over. What legacy am I leaving? What footprint will I have left on this earth when I am gone? I know, I know all of my "earth friendly" friends might have just gasped. Please don't get ruffled. The Travis family is doing its part as best we can to "not leave" a footprint of waste and destruction, but yes we are trying to leave something behind us everywhere we go. 2 Sam. 22:37 says, "You enlarge my steps under me, and my feet have not slipped." What was David doing that God would enlarge, bless his steps and keep him from slipping? David was following the Lord, and his desire was solely on pleasing the Lord. So, I ask myself, "What has the Lord called me to do, and is my desire solely on pleasing HIM?" I know that he has called me to this new country, but specifically what am I to be doing right now? Where should I place my feet? Job 29:15 says, "I was eyes to the blind and feet to the lame." Sounds easy, right?..."this is how I am feet to the lame (i.e. my calling); I should just do it!" However, everything changed this year for our family - not just job & country, but ministry, relationships, how we parent, how we keep a healthy marriage, etc. I am suprised by how it all looks so different in this new context. I confess there are time that I feel like I am in a glass bowl trying to please locals, job leaders, home support teams, team mates and family. The worst are the times like now when I feel like I am failing at everything. I want to be able to claim as David did in Psalm 17:5 "My steps have held fast to YOUR paths. " and not worry about PLEASING others, but it is such a massive trap that I get pushed into not just by myself but by others. I have to keep daily reminding myself that Mary the sister of Lazarus was right to simply sit at the feet of the Master. A legacy of simple surrender, peace and trust will not be passed on to my children or the people around me, if I am filling my time with worry and trying to please man. Last week, while we were in Cyprus, I spent an afternoon at the seashore basically alone simply allowing the strong winds to blow over me. As I was breathing in the salty air and swaying to the ebb and flow of the water, I couldn't help but simply praise Him. It struck me that praising Him is all that is asked of me. Why do I get so caught up in everything else? I am determined again today (with HIS help of course) to not let others determine my attitude or actions, and I am trusting Him to show me what footprint legacy He wants left for HIS glory! AT


Romans 10:15b "....How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things." How pretty are your feet?

What did we do this month?

Well, I have let a month slip by on the blog. I have been away from the computer a lot, and honestly, it has been good. It is never my plan to go this long, but I would like to mention again that we are on facebook with daily/weekly tidbits, and we also send out monthly e-news updates and quarterly "snail mail" updates. We use each of these medias for different information about our family. If you would like to be added to any lists, please contact us at amytravis76@gmail.com. I do still love to blog. As a family, we like to use this as the media place where we talk about what God is doing in our lives personally. (and from time to time just general stories and updates) May was an exciting month for us because my parents were able to come for a visit. It was such a blessing to have them here with us. As you can imagine, the time slipped away too quickly. May also brought about an unplanned trip/vacation out of the country. It is amazing to me how God knows exactly what we need at just the right time. He turns all circumstances for HIS glory and our good. (even when we don't see it at first!) We are thankful for the month of encouragement and refreshing. In some ways we feel guilty for needing it because we have not yet been away from the states a year; however, I can say that the last 11 months have been significantly taxing. The Lord is doing amazing thing in our lives and teaching us so much; we would not trade any of it, but it has still challenged us in more ways than we had imagined. I have several blogs that I have swirling around in my head. As the Lord leads, I will write. Hugs to Everyone! AT