Relationships

For a little over 7 years now, the Father has had me on a journey of showing me what healthy relationships should look like.  That is not to say that now all of my relationships are perfect, nor am I saying that I can look at people and like Dr. Phil tell them how to fix their relationships.  Remember, you just read that I am on a JOURNEY.  Relationships are complicated to say the least!  Last year, I walked through a very difficult time in setting boundaries, learning what manipulation looks like, and even learning how in love to end a relationship.  On the other hand, throughout the past 7 years, the Father has been teaching me a lot about what forgiveness and restoration should truly look like, and what it means to walk and see in the Spirit.  Well, just when you think: "Okay, God; thank you for the lessons.  I can take it from here..."  Our family was thrown back into the hands of all of our American relationships and is preparing us to go to another country and start new relationships!  That might sound really negative.  I don't mean it to be.  We have had a wonderful time seeing family, dear friends, supporters, and building new relationships as we travel.  We have been truly blessed in what is really a "short time" in the US to see so many people that are so very precious to us.  But, like in all things, God has something He is trying to show us, and like in all things, I believe that He is looking to see if we have learned and will apply the things He has taught. (the easy and the hard!)  I am not sure how I am doing.  In many ways, it has been a challenge.  I confess I have been (and am) struggling.  Please don't read that I am feeling "wronged" and don't know how to confront or "deal".  In most cases, I am asking myself how I can be a better friend, sister, daughter, cousin, church member, etc.  One of the hard facts of life is that a person can only do so many things well.  I think I have been carrying so much guilt when I see someone again that I haven't spoken to in years. I remember how special a person they are, and my immediate desire is to try to think of how I can be a better person in the relationship.  The hard thing is learning that God has us in different types of relationships in different seasons of our lives.  Not all people will be "bosom friends" as Anne Shirley would say.  We need all "levels" (if you will) of relationships.  I think the difficulty comes when a person changes levels...whether that is in or out of closeness to you.  God keeps giving me the verse in Galatians that says, "so then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people..." (6:10a)  Right now, I am asking myself how I can "do good" in each of my relationships for this season right now.  Sometimes, (and I really hate it!)  it means having tough conversations or worse discerning that no good could come from talking and that person really needs to have broad boundaries in my life.  Sometimes, (thankfully!) it means just spending time and sharing how much they means to me.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds me,  "So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing."  So as we count down our time in the America and prepare to embark on new relationship building overseas,  I am thanking the Father for all that He has brought me through and all that He is continuing to teach me.  May I continue to work towards healthy relationships that bring glory to Him. AT

 

Picture:  I had to post a picture of my best friends from high-school.  These two women are so precious to me.  I am truly thankful for them in my life. 

In the World but NOT of the World

I know that the 31st of October is met each year with mixed feelings.  Some love the time to remember the passing of Saints and those that have given their lives for the spread of the gospel...while others find it hard to get over how the world today focuses so much on evil and death.  This year I walked down both paths.  In mid-October, Matt and I were privileged with being sent on a marriage enrichment weekend.  We traveled to Denver for a 4 day weekend.  It was my first time in Colorado and my first time to see the beautiful Rocky Mountains.  We had a wonderful get-a-way, but I confess it was somewhat tainted by what we believe to be a very scary movement among the youth of America.  We happened to be staying right in the heart of downtown at the gathering point of the largest "Zombie Walk" in the U.S.  The event was "to collect food for the homeless".  To their credit it did look as if a great many can-goods and non-perishables were donated.  However, the "festivities" were really nothing more than an excuse to embrace evil and dwell on death.  Thousands gathered to act-out a "dooms-day" type scenario where zombies were trying to take over the world and space-age police were attempting to kill them in order to save mankind.  Sadly, the zombies won because so many desired to come dressed as the dead rather than as the heroes.  Not knowing how large the event was to be, Matt and I attempted to go out for lunch.  We quickly found ourselves surrounded by the crowds decked-out in all manner of costume depicting grotesque forms of death and suffering.  Were I a stronger person, I suppose it would have been a great opportunity to street witness and try to offer hope; however, in that moment I only wanted to escape.  I was so overwhelmed by the presence of evil.  Matt and I retreated to our hotel room and watched in sickening disbelief as the crowds grew and grew and the people reviled in the victory of the dead.    Ephesians 5:7-12 says, "Don't participate in the things these people do. For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.  Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret."  These verses kept ringing in my ears as I tried to pray for the people of Denver.  I know that the Bible also says, "become all things to all men so that by all possible means we might save some?" 1 Corinthians 9:22 However, in this case, I do not believe that participation would have brought people to a saving knowledge of Christ.  Deuteronomy 18:10-12 clearly says,  "For example, never sacrifice your son or daughter as a burnt offering. And do not let your people practice fortune-telling or sorcery, or allow them to interpret omens, or engage in witchcraft, or cast spells, or function as mediums or psychics, or call forth the spirits of the dead. Anyone who does these things is an object of horror and disgust to the Lord."  I believe that we must be very careful in how we are attempting to be salt and light in our communities.  On the flip side, our family traveled to a small town in Mississippi for a week at the end of October.  The town hosted a "fall festival" of sorts.  The kids walked the streets to "trick-or-treat"; visit with neighbors and make the community aware of events and socials.  They gave out candy to the children's hospital and at the "orphan" home.  As we traveled around, we shook the hands of the Baptist pastor, the Methodist minister, the Mayor and countless doctors, teachers and local public servants & businessmen.  It was truly a time of bonding and ministering to each other.  To have "retreated" to our "hotel" and not particate would have been the missing of an opportunity to show love and compassion.  I believe this is what the Bible means when is says in Matthew 5:14-16 "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp, and put it under the peck-measure, but on the lampstand; and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."  The question always comes down to, "Who is getting the glory from your actions?"  In all things, may we be glorifing the Father.  "For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."   Romans 11:36      AT

Boldly Going!!

In my last post, I left the question, "How boldly am I entering the Throne Room?" unanswered.  Why?  Well, to be honest, mostly because I have been highly convicted in this area.  I so desperately want a powerful prayer life, but like countless other things (healthy eating habits, a consistent exercise plan, writing letters/notes) it takes a lot of WORK and purposeful planning!  Stephen Olford says, "I would venture to aver that prayerlessness is the most evident and endemic sin in our religious life."  I would agree with that statement in my own life.  Yes, I spend time in the Word daily.  I even spend time praying, but Hebrews 7:25 says that Jesus "lives to make intercession."  If I am to strive to be more like Christ, than I need to be developing a more passionate and active prayer life.  If we study, the life of Christ, He was always in prayer.  The greater the task before Him, the more intently He prayed.  Tom Elliff in his book  A Passion for Prayer says, "The command to pray is not in question.  God's Word abounds with commands, examples, promises and encouragements to pray.  What is missing is the obedient, heaven-bending, hell-binding practice of prayer."  Wow - talk about my lack of faith hitting me square between the eyes!  Where is my obedience?  Do I believe that my prayers can bend heaven and bind hell?  If I do, then where is my practice?  If I am not practicing my beliefs, it must mean that I have a faith issue.  So, it brings me back to my question - How boldly am I entering the Throne Room? --- Not boldly enough!!

 

^"14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, ¹⁵ from whom ^[l]every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, ¹⁶ that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, ¹⁷ so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, ¹⁸ may be able to comprehend with all the ^[m]saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, ¹⁹ and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. ²⁰ Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, ²¹ to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations ^[n]forever and ever. Amen." Ephesians 3:14-20

 

^"14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ¹⁵And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him." 1 John 5:14-17

May we be emboldened today to step out in faith and powerfully pray!  AT    

Pictures:   The chair at the top was where I was able to spend time with the Lord on our family vacation.  The picture at the bottom was my breathtaking view.  God is AMAZING! 

 

The Writting on the Wall

As we have been praying about our up-coming move, I confess I have been asking the Lord to give us a clear sign that we are indeed going to the place He has hand picked for us.  I would love to wake up one morning or look up from my time in prayer and see our new country name written on the wall or scrolling across my computer.  The Father was so very specific 5 years ago that we were to go to Turkey.  I know He will be specific again; it's the waiting that is hard. 

Last week, I was reading the account in the book of Daniel of when a hand appeared before King Belshazzar and wrote in a special cryptic language a warning on the wall.  The prophet Daniel was called upon to interpret the message.  It occurred to me during my reading what great courage it took for Daniel to go before the king.  Yes, this was not his first time to deliver a message from the Lord; however, in that time of history to go before a ruler was often a matter of life or death.  It took great faith for Daniel to even enter the throne room (banquet hall).  It makes me ask 2 questions: 1) How boldly am I entering THE Throne Room? and 2) Am I able to interpret His message? 

I'll address the second question first.  Learning to speak someone's language is challenging.  I am not talking about a "foreign" language - although that's hard.  I'm talking about knowing someone well enough to understand how they communicate.  After 15 years of marriage, Matt and I are learning what it takes to communicate well.  We all have our crazy quirks when it comes to life's messages.  If I ask, "Does this look good on me?"  Matt knows that to give a positive reply without a good look will most certainly aggravate me.  He also knows that to hesitate and stare too long at me will be interpreted as, "no the outfit is not for you!"  (First immediate impressions are important with clothes!)    On the flip side, I know that when Matt calls to ask if he needs to do anything on the way home, he wants the answer to that question and nothing else.  He is not being rude.  He will say he missed me and ask me about my day later.  He just needs to know if he has tasks that need to be accomplished.  How do we figure these things out in relationships?  TIME!  and a lot of asking for FORGIVENESS!   I know that my God speaks to me.  The question really is, do I know HIM well enough that I speak His language!  I think sometimes the writing really is already on the wall.  We simple don't know how to read it.

How can we be confident that we know when the Lord is speaking?  Experience.  As we learn to listen and respond to Him, it becomes easier and easier to interpret His messages.  I think this was the case with Daniel.  He did not know what was written on the wall.  He simply went to the banquet hall to read the message.  He knew that if the message was from the Lord, he could read it.  Why did he know this.  He had a relationship and a life time of walking daily with the King of Kings.  If I want to know when the Lord is speaking to me, I am going to have to choose to spend time with Him often...not just when I need an answer! 

I know He has a perfect plan for our family.  I know that He still works miracles and still writes on the wall.  AT         

Ex-Pat does not Equal Extrovert!

One of the things that I have found especially challenging about living overseas is the fact that I am by God's design an introvert.  I think most people assume that because I have surrendered to following God's calling overseas it means that I am an extrovert.  Well, I am NOT!!  In fact, the last three years have stretched me more than I can even express.  It is totally out of my comfort zone to: make new relationships; make a fool of myself speaking in a foreign language; have people stare at me constantly; have people ask me questions about everything in my life; and the list goes on and on!!  Recently, a friend of mine posted The 12 rules for Introverts list on Facebook.  I can totally relate to all of them, and at the same time, I can give you countless examples of times when I have been forced to live outside of my natural personality and embrace the life of an extrovert.  Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."    I know that the Father is working the extrovert experiences I have had for my good.  He is growing me for His glory.  However, I confess, it has really stressed me at times.  Also, this life calling doesn't stop when we return to the U.S.  I freely admit I am VERY nervous about the coming months.  We are going to be traveling and sharing non-stop.  Although I am very passionate about all that the Father is doing overseas, I am still apprehensive about being so open with so many.  Please remember me (and William) in the coming months.  May we be emboldened for Him.  May we learn to rely on His strength and trust Him that He has plans for Introverts living in an Extrovert world!  AT   

All I Want To Do

It has now been 8 weeks since we left Turkey.  Yes, it has been wonderful to be with family and friends, but I confess, I am already longing to be back overseas.  I am daily seeking His direction, but my heart is hurting to be back with the people and culture I have grown to love.  I know in so many ways this is yet another example in my life of trying to be in control and not being content with where the Father has me.  Why do I keep taking my life back into my own hands? I read a quote recently that said "It's only when you are tested that you truly discover who you are.  And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be." (author unknown)  1 Peter 5:10 says, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."  James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."  I know my battle is between what I know in my head and what I often feel in my heart.  For the most part, I am a rational person that is not swayed in my life's walk just because of my emotions, but well, I ammmmmm still a girl.  Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me.  I know that God has a perfect plan for me/my family.  I know that He desires to use this time to stretch and grow me.  I know that I can rest in His promises and the sovereignty of His scripture.  I am asking today that my emotions/feelings get in alignment with His truth.  My heart song to the Father today is "All I want to do is give this life to you." (Ginny Owens "All I Want To Do")  Whatever He has for me next, may I be completely surrendered.  AT

Picking Up A Pole!

Matt is spending a great deal of his time right now frantically reading and writing papers.  He had hoped to finish all of his work before coming State side, but, as you know by now, that choice was taken out of our hands.  SO, I would like to take the first part of this post to publicly thank him for all of his hard work for our family.  I am so proud of his dedication and ability to juggle so many responsibilities with integrity and love.  One of the books that Matt has been reading is, Tentmaking.  In this book, George Verwer is quoted as saying, "Most churches are keepers of the aquarium, not fishers of men."  Wow, that is quite a convicting statement.  We have now been in Texas over a month.  How many times have I shared the gospel?  What are my intentions over the next 5 months for sharing the gospel?  Yes, my "job" during my State Side Assignment is to encourage the church and share what the Father is doing around the world.  However, when should I ever put personal evangelism aside?  Yes, I want to encourage Believers to get involved around the world, but this statement is a good reminder that we all need to be actively engaging the "un-reached" right in our neighborhoods.  May we not be caught simply cleaning our own aquariums....may we be always working to add to the tank!!  AT