All I Want To Do

It has now been 8 weeks since we left Turkey.  Yes, it has been wonderful to be with family and friends, but I confess, I am already longing to be back overseas.  I am daily seeking His direction, but my heart is hurting to be back with the people and culture I have grown to love.  I know in so many ways this is yet another example in my life of trying to be in control and not being content with where the Father has me.  Why do I keep taking my life back into my own hands? I read a quote recently that said "It's only when you are tested that you truly discover who you are.  And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be." (author unknown)  1 Peter 5:10 says, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."  James 1:12 says, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."  I know my battle is between what I know in my head and what I often feel in my heart.  For the most part, I am a rational person that is not swayed in my life's walk just because of my emotions, but well, I ammmmmm still a girl.  Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me.  I know that God has a perfect plan for me/my family.  I know that He desires to use this time to stretch and grow me.  I know that I can rest in His promises and the sovereignty of His scripture.  I am asking today that my emotions/feelings get in alignment with His truth.  My heart song to the Father today is "All I want to do is give this life to you." (Ginny Owens "All I Want To Do")  Whatever He has for me next, may I be completely surrendered.  AT

Picking Up A Pole!

Matt is spending a great deal of his time right now frantically reading and writing papers.  He had hoped to finish all of his work before coming State side, but, as you know by now, that choice was taken out of our hands.  SO, I would like to take the first part of this post to publicly thank him for all of his hard work for our family.  I am so proud of his dedication and ability to juggle so many responsibilities with integrity and love.  One of the books that Matt has been reading is, Tentmaking.  In this book, George Verwer is quoted as saying, "Most churches are keepers of the aquarium, not fishers of men."  Wow, that is quite a convicting statement.  We have now been in Texas over a month.  How many times have I shared the gospel?  What are my intentions over the next 5 months for sharing the gospel?  Yes, my "job" during my State Side Assignment is to encourage the church and share what the Father is doing around the world.  However, when should I ever put personal evangelism aside?  Yes, I want to encourage Believers to get involved around the world, but this statement is a good reminder that we all need to be actively engaging the "un-reached" right in our neighborhoods.  May we not be caught simply cleaning our own aquariums....may we be always working to add to the tank!!  AT 

Pursuing HIM

It has been a joy re-connecting with family, friends and U.S. culture (and food!) over the last few weeks.  I feel blessed to have so many people in my life that love me unconditionally.  My heart has been encouraged.  Now that the initial "welcome home" meetings are over, many are beginning to ask - "What's next?"  This is a great question, and I truly, TRULY wish I had the answer.  I know that God will reveal His will in His perfect timing, so for now we are simply spending each day pursuing Him.  Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart" Psalm 9:10 says, "Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you."  Deuteronomy 4:29 says, "But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul."  These are the verses that we are hiding in our hearts and claiming as promises today.  We know that in proclaiming His goodness and trusting in His plan, we will always be in His perfect will for our lives. Matt often quotes his childhood pastor by claiming,  "We cannot possess what we do not pursue!".  Meaning in this situation: We desire to possess the knowledge of which country God has for us; therefore, if we actively pursue this knowledge, we can trust that He will reveal it to us.  Several years ago, I watched for the first time the Will Smith movie, The Pursuit of HAPPYness.  Although, some would claim that the emphasis of this film is on materialism and finding a "place in society".  At this time in my life, I am choosing to be encouraged through this movie to "not give up" despite life's circumstances.  I pray that if you are facing a time in your life when you are either not seeing God move or questioning His plans for you, that you will be encouraged today to continue seeking Him.  Keep Pursing!  AT  

Freedom in HIM

This year the 4th of July was celebrated, quite unexpectedly, with our feet on American soil.  Yes, we were planning to return to the U.S. this fall for a 4 month Stateside assignment; however, on June 29th at 5:30 pm we received word that we needed to be out of country no later than the Wednesday of the coming week. (Independence Day!)  This left us 4 days to pack our entire house; get our affairs in order (not knowing if we would ever be able to return); prepare to be in the U.S. at least 6 months; prepare to possibly go to a temporary country after that; and begin thinking about the possibility of needing to move on to another country of service.   No, we were not totally taken off guard.  There have been some surrounding circumstances, but the weight of it all was/is still hard to stand up under at times.  We cried a lot, stared blankly into bare rooms as things were packed, laughed at our crazy packing methods; and of course, did a lot of praying that the Father would give us wisdom and strength.  I am sure we will spend the next couple of months over eating; re-connecting with friends; loving on family; and prayerfully processing much of what we have been through.  Yes, our "rights" have been taken in Turkey, but we are trusting the Father to lead us over the next 6 months in the U.S. and remind us of the wonderful freedom we have in HIM.  We really desire to connect with all of you.  Please feel free to contact us.  We are happy to plan times to meet with you personally as well as share with your small groups and/or churches.  AT

Godly Hoping OR Standing on Faith

Last Saturday, we drove an hour north up to the Black Sea to spend a day at the beach.  Besides a little over exposure to the sun, (I am SOOO white...well, now red!) it was a wonderful day.  On the drive up, we passed several rode-side-stands selling towels, mats and various beach items.  We decided to stop and buy the kids some blow-up tubes.  I am so glad we did - it was the hit of the day!!  The kids thoroughly enjoyed floating along without a care in the world.  Oh, to be a kid again...carefree!  I, on the other hand, spent a good deal of the day walking along the beach making sure that the current was simply taking them down the shoreline and not out to the deep, a shark was not stalking them, their tubes didn't pop, etc., etc.  You see I had "cares"!  However, as I watched the kids laughing, giggling, splashing and playing, I was struck with how important faith is.  How I need to surrender my "cares" into His most capable hands.  William and Grace had complete faith in their situation.  Did they fully understand the dangers of the undertow or other such things - no!  Did they need to - no!  It is enough that their father said, "Go and do this thing."  I so desire to float along in faith just like that.  Sadly, I often spend way too much time checking the tide and asking multiple times if my Father really does want me to "go and do this thing".  I feel myself acting like the  Disney elephant character, Tantor, from the 1999 Tarzan movie =  "Are you sure this water's sanitary? It looks questionable to me!"   I so wish I would instead stand boldly like David when hearing of the giant Goliath taunting the army of God. =  “The Lord, who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear, He will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.” (1 Sam. 17:37)  I know that I can only stand on faith when I have hidden the Word of God in my heart and have faith in my relationship with Him.  That means fully surrendering control to HIM.  It will be at that time that I can boldly say, "for the battle is the Lord’s"! (1 Sam. 17:47)  David was still just a shepard boy, but how had he spent his time in the fields?  He spent it worshiping and drawing near to the Father.  It was because of this relationship that he had faith that God's will for his life was enough.  Live or Die - let God decide.  It always gets my blood pumping when I read, "David hurried and ran toward the army to meet the Philistine." (1 Sam. 17:48)  David didn't wait and check the sky for the right conditions; check the grass for obstacles; ask God for a set course of action, etc. David took what he had and knew how to use and charged forward!  I love how the Living Bible records the next two verses:  Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong!  Be courageous!  Do not be afraid of them!  For the Lord your God will be with you.  He will neither fail you nor forsake you."  John 14:27, "I am leaving you with a gift -  peace of mind and heart!  And the peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives.  So don't be troubled or afraid."  We CAN "float along carefree"!!  Why? Because:  He will keep His promises; He is in control; and HE loves us more than we can ever imagine! Floating Away Today - AT

Whatever it takes to see people come to HIM!

The above cartoon was posted on Facebook by a national friend of mine.  She is a follower of Christ, but continues to wear a head cover in most situations. Isn't it amazing how different we all view issues such as modesty, respect and oppression?  If I had to guess, most of us reviewing this "comic" would put ourselves somewhere in the middle.  I know it might be easy for us to "camp out" on the "male-dominated culture" part of the statement, and I do have my opinions on a woman's place in the world and home, but I'll save that for another post.  The question that keeps playing in my mind right now is:  "What should my dress look like in order to be a witness in the culture in which I live?"  Obviously, I do not want to compromise my own beliefs and convictions (whether that be to dress extremely modest or to walk in "freedom"), but let's look at what 1 Corinthians 9:22 says, "To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some."  So, how do I reconcile how I prefer to dress while ministering in a culture that requires a different style.  Life is ministry remember - we are all bond-servants! Women working with youth might dress very differently than women working in a women's ministry.  I believe this concept looks very different around the globe.  I have several friends living in the Middle East & all over Central Asia, and they fully cover like the woman on the right.  It is very difficult for American women living abroad to not be viewed in a negative light.  The lack of morals and ungodly behavior that people see in "American TV and films" is what locals believe is acceptable to all Americans.  This makes ministry very difficult.  An American woman is viewed as guilty of immorality until she proves herself to be pure.  I realize that in America today "covering" is most associated with Islamic beliefs, but the reality is that it has only been in the last 50-70 years that American women did not cover when going outside their home.  Yes, it looked a little different in history over the years, but "propriety and modesty" were the driving factors in being covered.  On the other side, I also have several friends working in the jungles of Africa and South America.  If they were to dress like the woman on the right, they would likely scare the natives away!!  They might think a "spirit" had come to live among them!!  Funny, but still true given native beliefs and cultures.  My friends in these cultures have to dress comfortable and more "informal".  Later in Corinthians, Paul writes "Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense either to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God; [in other words, adapt as much as you can in non-sinful ways] just as I also please all men in all things, not seeking my own profit, but the profit of the many, that they may be saved. [That's the same as 9:22.] Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ."  I think the key words here for us to take away are "all to the glory of God".  May everything we do, even down to how we dress, be for HIS glory and use, and may we seek to understand why a woman chooses to dress in a certain manner before we judge.  AT              

Blessed Assurance

Assurance - What is it, and what does it look like?  On my online dictionary, the first definition of assurance is "a statement or indication that inspires confidence; a guarantee or pledge".  How many times has a statement inspired, but later didn't really hold up.  "This product is so amazing everyone can find a use for it.  It will sell itself".  If that had been a sure thing, there wouldn't be 50  of them still in the back of the closet.  I guarantee you that if you will take this new diet product you will loose weight.  Eat what you want + No exercise = additional pounds GAINED and $100s gone.  I pledge to you until "death do us part".  The divorce rate among Christians is the same as non-Christians.  Okay, so the first definition doesn't really hold up.  Let's look at the second definition. "freedom from doubt; self-confidence."  What can I be totally confident in my self for?  I'm wise with money, but I make mistakes.  I was a good driver...never been given a ticket, but I haven't driven in over 3 years!  I love me kids, but maybe they don't receive all I do as love.  Am I a good wife, friend, sister, daughter?  Maybe, but am I good enough?  I doubt it; there will always be something I could do to be better.  Therefore, this definition leaves something lacking as well!  SO, what can I have assurance in?  Most of the time I can rest assured that if I put my clothes in the washer they will come out clean...that is if I have water and if the electricity stays on.  If I take the 11üs bus, I will arrive at Matt's office...that is if one will come by my bus stop. If I want to call my mom, I know I can simply use MajicJack....that is if the Internet is working.  Yes, I think you know where I am going with this now.  The examples can go on and on.  I cannot think of any earthly thing on which to place my assurance.  I am so thankful that the Bible says, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul." Psalm 94:19  God is always there; He keeps His promises even when we don't; If we have a relationship with His son, we can be saved!  These are things that we can have assurance in.  Last month, I went over to my Turkish mom's house for Mother's Day.  She had her sister visiting.  "D" is over 80 and very ill.  She has had 3 strokes; she has diabetes; she has had a stint put in her heart....and the list goes on.  "D" is staying with my "mom" so that she can get therapy in-order to regain the use of her right side.  She is making great progress, but realizes that "it could just happen again."  She has no assurance in having good health again.  She told me that she was happy to have the strength to do "namaz".  (Islamic prayers - you have to kneel a special way.)  She admittedly has no assurance; however, that what she does with her life will be "enough" to guarantee eternity in paradise.  As best I could, with respect and love, I shared about my assurance and how happy I was that life in paradise did not depend on me.  She was so glad for me.  She even said that I was such a "good lady, wife and mom that she knew what I said was right.  She wished it could be so for her."  Again, I tried to tell her that Christ desires a relationship with all peoples.  Sadly, she just smiled and said, "İnşallah" (If God wills it to be so.)  That evening, watching her sleep on the couch in the living room was almost more than I could bare.  Many times I had to choke back tears before talking to the others in the room.  I wanted to say more....I needed to say more.  I so desperately wanted to give this precious women some assurance, but I could not.  Assurance only comes through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  

Romans 10:9-10, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."
John 3:15-16, "That whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
Romans 4:5, "But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness."
John 10:28, "And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand."
Ephesians 2:8-10, "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them."
1 John 5:13, "These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God. "    And, of course, these are not the only verses in scripture that give us hope and assurance.  God's promises go on and on.  I pray that I am given another opportunity to share with "D".  Even more than me, I know God desperately wants to give her rest and assurance in a relationship with Himself.  Please join me in prayer, that her eyes will be open and her heart receptive to His truth.  Also, if there is anyone reading this blog that has questions or is unsure how to have assurance in Christ, you are welcome to contact me.  His love and assurance is for all.  AT