This last week, I have been feeling like I’m trying to swim north on a river that is flowing south. It seemed to me, with each passing day, I was getting crushed by the water and pushed under by the journey. This morning I heard myself say, “I just have so much to do.” WOW! The pain that struck my heart in that moment...not that of weariness, but of conviction. I do not HAVE too much to do. I GET to do this wonderful work. I am humbled and honored to be where I am. As you can imagine, at my first opportunity to retreat, I headed straight to my knees. "Forgive me Father for my attitude!" I am so excited to be in the place He has set aside for me. I am ashamed to admit how quickly I forget the promises and provision of the Father.
I was reminded of the story of the disciples in Mark 8. They are out on a boat with Christ and are worried over the fact that they do not have bread. Christ asked them if they had hardened-hearts. They had no answer. So He asked them how many baskets of food they picked up after the miracle of the feeding of the 5 thousand – Answer: 12; He asks them about the feeding of the 4 thousand – Answer: 7. So then He “asks” them, “Do you not yet understand?” In other words, a hard hearted person is one that does not remember God’s faithfulness; one that forgets the miracles that God just did in her life.
Oh, how I am like that. Do I not yet understand that the same God that brought me to this place in life is the same God that will not only see me through, but provide miraculously! Is my heart so hard and forgetful that I so quickly forget the work of the Father in my life?!
Father let me be like your servant David. He did not forget the strength you gave him to kill the lion, so he defeated the bear. He walked with that same power of faith as he faced Goliath. I want to be moving forward with God in victory....the journey is His; why would I not think that He would equip and be faithful.
I am committing that this next week my heart will not be hard. (forgetting all that God has done) I will have clay feet being moldable to His teaching and will. I am choosing to continue north despite the flow of the river because I know that with a soft heart of grateful obedience I can swim!
AT
Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and IS and is to come
With All Creation I sing, “Praise to the King of Kings
You are my Everything
And I will Adore you!”
I can hear Missy singing this at NorthWood Church as I type. We serve an amazing Lord. He does not give us too much. He is still the God of miracles, the God whose plans are perfect; the God who is faithful and keeps His promises.
2 comments:
thank you for sharing your heart, how inspiring it is to hear your thoughts to the Lord. To b reminded that we are human and do have to rely on him for strength along with everything else. Thanks again for sharing, and God Bless Ya'll.
Thank you for sharing this post - I totally hear your heart on this! I have been praying that prayer often as well... that I wouldn't forget all that God has done for me. I know that you guys are being so faithful on this journey & I am in awe of how far you guys are willing to go to follow His voice. I also loved your post about getting to graduate BSF - I am so thankful that God put me in your group for your last year! Praying so many blessings on your family.
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