Following God Can End Badly

Loss.  It seems like a small, simple word, and yet when it happens there is nothing simple about it.

Loss has been a theme in our last 2 years:  loss of a country we loved, loss of friends, loss of relationships we held dear, loss of a culture that had grown dear to our hearts, loss of a vision, loss of a child, loss of innocence, loss of life...

As 2014 draws closer to an end and we reflect back, it is beginning to make total sense why we have gained weight/have some health issues, feel stressed, finances are strapped, have withdrawn a little from things of old, etc. Loss has a way of gutting you; complicating the norm; weighing your daily walk; and causing you to question.  

Grief.  Grief is the natural result of loss.  It is what makes us question; makes us feel alone and isolated; makes us search for greater meaning...

Walking through the 5 stages of grief (Denial and Isolation; Anger; Bargaining; Depression; and Acceptance) is time consuming and messy.  It makes people around us feel uncomfortable; it often means taking a step away from "normal" life things.  However, it is needed and valuable.  This is where we have been...well and still are in some areas.   

Faith.  "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1.  Sounds simple. Right?  How do you explain your faith?  Yes, loss and thus grief can be a weight that at times seem too heavy to bear, but it is by faith that we stand.  We get up the next day and take up our cross and follow him.  

I just recently watched a short clip by Matt Chandler.    (It is under 5 minutes.  You can click on the following link to view Following God can end badly.)  In it he says, "God has not hinged any of His Kingdom goals on me being here."  I would add...He has not hinged His goals on me being happy, me having all "I" deem necessary, me feeling comfortable, me being important in HIS story at all.  Bottom line is:  My life is not even about ME. "The man goes in the ground and the message goes on.  The story is not ours it's God's."  MC 

Heart.  SO, how do we carry on when we know that we are but a tool being used to paint a larger picture for His Kingdom?  I believe that the answer is found in the heart.  Do I have a heart of gratitude?  Do I choose to thank Him in all circumstances?  Do I wholeheartedly say, "Thy will be done!"?

During this time of Thanksgiving, the Travis family is choosing to reflect on all the things that we have to be grateful for over the past few years.  Despite all the difficult circumstances we have experienced and are still walking through, HE IS GOOD and HE IS GOD!  

Praise His name today with us.  AT  

Catching Up!

Where have we been?
The short answer is:  around the world and back.  :)

Next question:  Where did the year go?....Isn't that something old people ask?  Well, I am feeling it! 

Our last post was from William's 12th birthday in 2013 with his goals for his last year as a "child".  I am happy to report that he accomplished all 13 goals.  I am a very proud momma.  I know that the teen years are not going to be smooth sailing.  The infant years, toddler years, preschool years and elementary years have all had their ups and downs; however, Matt and I are super excited to walk through this time with William (and soon Grace to follow).  We are very humbled to see all the things that God is doing in his life.

All of you know by now that last fall we began an adoption journey in Ethiopia.  This time last year, we had met our son, Micah, and daughter, Hope.  We were busy with holiday preparations to complete the adoption within the month and head to Texas for much celebration.  

Obviously, things did not go as "we" had planned.  I have struggled with how to write it all out for this blog, so I decided to simply post a "summary" talk that I gave at a ladies' meeting in September regarding our adoption journey. 

So Here we go:

Today I want to talk about 4 words:  Adoption; Multi-Cultural; Orphan; and Trust 

As a young teen I watched my aunt struggle with infertility.  It was so heartbreaking to watch as we gathered Christmas after Christmas.  I could see the longing in her eyes for a child.  My sadness turned to fear as I too began to have medical issues.  I was told very young that I would most likely never carry a baby to full-term.  Enter the 1^st word or seed that God placed in my heart - ADOPTION.  We welcomed Andy and 2 years later Heather into our family:  Cousins, not by birth, but through heartbreak, loss, desire, and grace.  Adoption was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. 

Matt and I met at university.  We were friends for 2 years before God brought us together.  One of my biggest struggles in committing to marriage was my possible inability to have children.  Matt loves children, and I didn’t know if he could really not have biological children and still be happy.  I obviously didn’t know my husband very well then!  His love and trust in the Lord is always an inspiration and encouragement to me. 

In the early years of our marriage, Matt’s sister welcomed to our family a child from the State of Florida.  Enter the 2^nd word or seed that God placed our hearts:  Multi-Cultural.  Notice I did not say “multi-racial”.  There is but one race:  God’s race or the human race.  It is historically, scientifically, and Biblically accurate to say there is only one race. Elijah is African and Porto Rican.  A few years later by the same sister we welcomed into our family a little girl named Lydia.  She is part Hispanic.  As a child I learned to have friends from all cultural backgrounds.  I was taught to love and embrace all people.  How thankful we all were to be able to expand our family to include new cultures. 

In the first 4 years of our marriage we lost 4 children to early birth.  As you know through the blessings of the Father and His miraculous handiwork, I was able to carry 2 children to full-term.  Something many doctors said was going to be impossible!  The Father gets all the praise for William and Grace.  After Grace, I was pregnant one more time, but lost the baby early in the first trimester.  At this time the first 2 words that God had been working in me came closer to the surface.  Matt too was prompted by the Holy Spirit to begin to ask and pray about the possibility of the Adoption of a multi-cultural child. 

Over the next 9 years we followed the Lord through the journey of multi-cultural adoption.  It seemed that this was not to be HIS plan for us.  Which leads us to the 3^rd word ORPHAN.  Wow, that seemed like a huge step of faith.  We had already experienced 5 failed adoption attempts; 4 as domestic (or in our home county the U.S.) which are supposedly “easier” and one failed attempt in Turkey as residents.  What would it look like to go to another country and receive an orphaned child into our arms? 

Many of you have followed our journey and prayed for us this past year.  "The adoption was challenging - the LOVE arrived instantly."  is a fitting quote for our experience. 

In August of 2013 we were matched with 2 infants.  In September we met them both and knew instantly that our son was to be our Micah.  The promised name the Lord had given us almost 2 years prior in 2012 during a time of prayer.  Four months later after naming him, we found out that Micah was born on June 8^th.  Our family verse is Micah 6:8 “And what does the Lord require of you, but to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”  Was it an accident that he was born on that date?  NO – our God has perfect plans for HIS people. 

At the same time, after many weeks of prayer we knew that our daughter with whom we were matched at that time was not the baby Joy that we had been promised by God in 2012.  Her name was to be Hope JoAnn.  Hope was a very small and very weak infant.  I believe that I was her mom for 9 months so that she could get the medical care and nutrition that she needed.  I am happy to go into more details at a later time, but through the deceit of man but not out of the sovereign plan of God we were not able to legally adopt Hope.  She will always be in our hearts just not in our home.

Enter precious Joy into the picture:  "Sosena", Joy came to the orphan home in November of 2013.  She was placed in the same crib as Micah.  Why?  Only God.  She and Micah were bed mates for 4 months until the home was less crowded and Micah was given his own crib.  As people would pass by her bed they would say, “This baby is such a joy.”  When they would pass her playing they would say, “She has so much joy.”  

In the days leading up to the trail determining who would have baby Hope, I felt the Lord tell me that I was to let her go.  Hope is loved by God more than I could ever love her and though I do not understand now, I know as truth that HIS plan for her is far better than mine.  At the same time, God told me that the baby "Sosena" was to be my promised daughter, Joy.  Of course, I was terrified; how was this to happen?  You can’t just pick a baby; they are matched with you; legally it would take half a year again….it all just seemed so out of the possible. (and I was ready to be DONE) 

However, with God all things are possible.  Enter the last word:  TRUST!  The very day, I was crying, trying to bring out the words of goodbye, and holding my Hope for the last time.  The Sister took her out of my arms, handed me Joy and said, “Take this girl.  She is your joy.”  WOW!  Out of the mouth of an unbeliever...ONLY GOD!  At first in my grief I was angry.  “Give me back my child”, I wanted to scream at anyone who would listen.  But the child in my arms smiled and told me with her eyes that she wanted me for her mom.  How could I refuse?  It didn’t make the pain of losing Hope easier, but it made my arms not so cold.  Again, adoption is challenging (loss is hard) but love comes instantly.    

Was the rest easy? NO!  There was a mountain of legal trails to hike, but God in only HIS awesome power made all of it come together in 3 weeks on the American legal side and another month on the Ethiopian side.  Thankfully, we were able to live in Addis Ababa from March-June; and we were able to visit the babies everyday and work in the orphan home.

We have now had the babies in our family since June 17^th.  We spent 2 months in Texas completing their citizenship, and we have been back in the UAE since the end of August.

We are often asked:  Has the adoption of multi-cultural orphans been easy on the family? Everything is perfect now right? Ummm….no – now the work really begins.  Now our trust and dependence on the Father has to increase all the more.  Now is the real journey.   Love comes instantly, but choosing to love like 1 Corinthians 13 is a daily work.   

Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement.  I hope this clears up a few questions for some of you we haven't spoken to in a while.  You are welcome to write.  amytravis76@gmail.com We are still planning to use this blog as a "what is God teaching us" site.  It will not be solely about adoption, parenting, etc.

AT

William Turns 12 Today!!

How did the time go by so fast?  I know this is what all moms say, but, seriously, I can't believe that next year I am going to have a teenager!!

I am so proud of William.  For almost a year now, he has been asking us to make up a challenge for him for his 12th birthday.  He is an avid reader and has read several books about boys in Australia and Africa that have to go through "rites of passage" before they are considered a "man".  He wants his teenage years to be a time of growth, significance and preparation for "manhood". 

Over the past year, as Matt and I have listened to William talk, we have been compiling a list of things that William himself has said.  We presented the below list to William this morning.  He is thrilled to have goals for the next year.  They are not in any order of importance.  I was amazed; however, as I began typing them that the list does cover all kinds of different areas from practical, to character and spiritual. 

Join us as we pray for him this year as well as into his teenage/transition years. 

13 Things To Do Before I Turn 13:

1.Read a book on survival skills/Camp out and apply the skills I have learned

2.Memorize: Micah 6:8 along with our Family Mission Statement

3.Learn to Cook: make a meal plan; grocery list; and prepare meals for a month

4.Memorize the Roman Road and try to share it with at least one person

5.Read the Old Testament

6.Keep a weekly Journal

7.Make a list of at least 13 questions I have about God, life, the Bible, etc.

8.Make a list of all the things I want to start praying about in a wife

9.Memorize a chapter of Scripture

10.Make a list of character goals I have for my teenage years

11.Make a list of places I want to go and/or things I want to do in my teenage years

12.Create a stewardship challenge for myself and begin implementing it

13.Make a list of ministry/service ideas; begin volunteering in one of the areas

 

     

Now is the Time to Cling to HIM

Jesus said to her, "Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, 'I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.'"  John 20:17

Confession:  I am not a hugger.  It has taken me quite a bit of time to get used to all the kissing and hugging that Central Asian and Middle Eastern cultures like to do.  Now it would seem that the practice is popular with Europeans and South Africans, too.  Praise the Father for my Australian and German friends...they are a bit more hands off! ;)

Today as I was reading, I was struck by the phrase in John 20:17 "stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended..."  Yes, I confess as a non-hugger that perhaps in the past I skimmed right over this part of the verse and in my mind thought, "ya people stop being so clingy!".   I tend to focus more on the second half of the verse that says go and tell the brethren this...  However, today when I read this, it occurred to me that Mary was not to cling to Jesus at that moment, but now that He is ascended she is/we ARE to cling to Him.  Very interesting; isn't it?   AT



 

God is ALWAYS the Subject

I do not pretend to be a good writer.  I think a have said countless times over the last 5 years of maintaining this blog that I wish God would allow me to quit this task.  However, evidently, there are words that HE would like for me to continue to write.  There is nothing more compelling, convicting or comforting than His words.  I write out of obedience, but mostly because I need to journal and read what He is trying to teach ME.  It is very humbling to share it with you, but also an honor.  I truly believe the WORDS are powerful. 

It would seem the Language Arts life of 5th and 6th grades is all about diagramming and labeling sentences/words.  We have gotten in such a routine of doing this that I am constantly pointing out adverbs, linking verbs, interjections, prepositions, and so forth in everything we say and read.  This exercise has me contemplating "grammar" in the Bible.  I know that there are many translations and that unless you read in the original languages you cannot have the full grasp of the grammar.  However,  one thing seems very clear:  God is always the subject.


I heard somewhere along the way that the Bible is a "love story" for us.   I do believe that is true, but recently I have been wondering if I have placed too much emphasis on the "for us" part.  The Bible is.  That is a complete sentence.  The "for us" is simply a prepositional phrase. 

Don't get me wrong, we are HIS people and therefore dearly loved.  He gave His life for us and is even now extending His great and merciful patience towards humanity.  In His profound wisdom and love, He inspired men to write down His words to us.  In His sovereignty and power He has preserved His word so that it is perfect and complete.  His Word is living, relevant and still touching the hearts of those that read it, meditate on it and hide it in their hearts.  We should look at all things through the scope of His Word.
 

All that being said, I think that it is important to remember that HE is the subject.  I know that often when I read His Word I am looking for "what applies to me"; "what does He want to say to me".  Perhaps my reading needs to change.  Maybe I should read His word asking, "Tell me more about you Father.  What can I learn about YOU?"  Conceivably, in doing this I will learn more deeply how I can apply His Word to myself. 

Father, I ask that you be the Subject always in my life!  AT   

Greece Trip 2013

We love the life that the Father has given us.  What an adventure!!  We are so often in amazement at the opportunities that are before us.  Our family was overjoyed to be given the privilege to attend a week long conference just outside of Athens, Greece.  The resort was amazing.  The day tour of the ancient ruins is indescribable.  It was a "once in a life time trip" to be sure.  The highlight of the week hands down, was the privilege to serve the amazing group of expats at the conference.  We loved listening to their testimonies, the passion for their work and their dedication to the Father.  Many of them live in hard places, yet they have so much joy.  The kids even ministered to William and Grace through their words and actions all week.  I'll be honest, I have truly been struggling to "find my way" in the UAE.  I believe our family has been in a grieving time.  It was good to get away and gain back some perspective.  I know that God is more interested in my holiness and growing me than He is in my happiness.  He has us here for a reason.  We need to be serving Him no matter where we are.  We can't keep looking back, replaying the "what ifs" and wondering how long we will be here.  It felt good that at the end of the trip to Greece that we were all saying, "I'm ready to go home."  I know that may sound strange, but all 4 of us have come to a place where we are ready to call the UAE home.  Time away was fun, but we were ready to go home and begin serving with our whole hearts in our new country.  We will always love Turkey.  We are thankful for modern technologies and the ability to stay in touch with our friends.  We are thankful for the Turks here that we are getting to know and that we are trusting the Father will bring our way.  GOD sees the whole puzzle.  Thank you Greece for a time of refreshment and renewing of the mind!  We know you have bad history with the Turks, but you helped us end our grieving for that precious country!  AT        

 

What kind of a fisherman am I?

Fishing takes ALOT of patients!  I have watched people come day after day to our beach and not catch a thing.  Men come out early in the morning, stay most of the day and often leave with  very little.  Some will say, "Oh there is nothing in these waters worth catching."  OR "The waters are too difficult to fish." However, the other day, a man caught a whopper of a fish.  I am not a fish person so I do not know what kind it was, but people gathered, all listened to the story of the adventure of catching it and many changed their minds about the waters.  You can probably guess what happened the next day....YES, the jetty was full of men giving it a go again.  Perhaps today would be their day, maybe the waters are not too hard, maybe there is something worth catching. 

 

What about me?  How do I view the fishing I've been called to do?  Just because a people or culture are different than I am or appear to be crude or harsh, do I say, "There is nothing worth catching."?  Is that how God views people?  Just because I am not seeing my line tug, my basket full and my cooler stocked, does that mean that the waters are too difficult to fish?  Did God promise it would be easy?

 

My cousin is an avid fisherman.  I am so impressed with his dedication and abilities.  He recently posted on Facebook a video of people that have "invented" a new way of fishing.  In essence with their invention a person can "deep sea" fish from shore.  They freeze a small bait fish in a "bullet shaped" tube and then shoot it out of an airgun.  It goes into deeper waters and when you catch something you have the challenge of hauling it all the way onto the beach.  It is a different mindset, a different challenge...a different approach....BUT it works!         

 

Have I been in such a hurry to evangelize that I've shaken searching fish off the hooks?  Have I been so caught up in how things have been done before that I cannot embrace a new strategy?  Am I so involved in my own "world" of what I think that I am capable of doing that I forget that I am just the "bait"/tool the Great Fisherman is using for HIS glory?

 

David Brainerd a missionary to the Native Americans once said, "O God, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am."  Let that be so of me as well.  I am not a great fisherman, but let me be faithful.  Let me be one who tells of HIS excellent greatness!!  AT